Literary Wives #13

The Last Wife of Henry VIII: A Novel 

by Carolly Erickson

I was enthralled with this book as of page 4! By page 50 I was so aware of the differences between now and then; once Ned was dead, Catherine had no power whatsoever and was imprisoned in her own house! And yet, there was so much that seemed it could have happened today or yesterday. Erickson's writing places you smack dab in the middle of King Henry's court at the very beginning. and definitely makes you feel as if you're there and living through it all with Catherine. I love historical novels that make me feel as if I am "there," wherever that may be! 

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Naomi of Consumed by Ink
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Cecilia of Only You
Carolyn of Rosemary and Reading Glasses
Ariel of One Little Library
Emily of the Bookshelf of Emily J
Audra of Unabridged Chick
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The whole concept of match-making for your children when they are only six or seven years old will never cease to appall me, particularly when the main motivation is for money, power, and status! I realize this custom is still practiced currently in other cultures around the globe, but it seems cruel to me. In my opinion, as adults we should be allowed to make our own choices regarding a mate, period. But that is just my feeling... Whether arranged or self-chosen, long-term partners may or may not work out in the long-term--that is proven fact! However, divorce is a concept rarely embraced in those same cultures of arranged marriages, so each partner is basically "stuck" with the other for life! Now that would be truly scary to me! As this book begins, Catherine's mother is searching for a match for her seven-year-old daughter. Oh, my...

Another scary aspect of these times is the fact that a monarch had ultimate and complete control over all the people under his/her reign, period. No appeals, no second chances, if you were accused (whether fairly or unfairly) of a "crime" you could be executed...no discussions or arguments. Unbelievable to me, though this attitude is most likely just the result of my having been born and raised, and living my adult life in the U.S. as a white/Caucasian; my perspective is skewed, I'm sure, especially when compared to "non-whites" (however you may choose to personally define that term) anywhere in the world and citizens of many other present-day societies/countries/regions around the world. I marvel at and am utterly appalled by humans' ability to be exceedingly cruel to other humans, by word or deed. Perhaps one of the most demonstrative examples of this is King Henry VIII's ability and willingness to have wives executed when they don't suit him, as depicted in this book. Good grief... It was obvious this man was mentally/emotionally unstable, to say the least!

Another theme of this book is the idea of exerting what influence we may have to "improve" our lot in life, then paying the price as that powerful person of influence exacts "payment" of sorts. Little did Catherine realize the many "prices" that would be extracted from her as a result of her initial plea to King Henry VIII to arrange for her initial marriage to a man (I believe the one and only man) she truly loved, and who returned that love in kind. Luckily for her, the infection finally killed King Henry VIII while she was still married to him, else she may well have had her head on the chopping block just as several of his past wives had done... 

One of the main reasons I have never read many of the historical fiction novels set in this time of monarchies and their "courts" is that it all seems too "reality-showish" to me. I realize people gossip constantly about others and rumors fly at all times, but I have worked diligently to avoid such activities in my own life, feeling they are a waste of time and so very harmful to others. This book puts you right in the middle of just such behaviors which were the way things got done in those days...yet I am always reminded just how powerful similar behind-the-scenes communication remains to this day, particularly with social media and the U.S. mass media. I try to keep out of other peoples' business and hope they will do the same for me. Selfishly, it makes life so much simpler and easier for me, without all the emotional upheaval such talk can create, not only for the subjects of gossip, but I believe it does so for the gossipers as well, though they may not realize it or care... I believe it is negative and destructive, and I truly don't wish to read about it much! :) Perhaps it is too close to reality to be entertaining to me! :)

Now for the "wife" questions! This book certainly provided much fodder for answering these questions! :)

1. What does this book say about wives or about the experience of being a wife?

In the time of King Henry VIII's reign, wives were certainly expendable, to say the least, as evidenced by the King's own actions of beheading several of his wives for various reasons, but mainly so he could proceed to make a different woman his "wife." In this book a "wife" was simply a role to be fulfilled. Naturally, it was preferable for the woman to provide additional wealth and power to her husband, and especially male heirs to ensure the lineage be continued into the future. I believe that for most women of this time it was similar to a work role or position with many duties, as we might consider it now. Depending upon the economic and political position of the husband, there were different expectations for wives. For the extremely poor it was a matter of working to provide basic living essentials as well as caring for the house/rooms, garden, children, etc. There was little to no "leisure time." Ascending the financial scale, wives were expected to manage the staff to care for everything, as well as entertaining the proper politicians/patricians in the proper way, helping to build her husband's reputation and financial holdings. And, of course, at the ultimate upper echelon of power, as the King's wife, the role was defined ever so capriciously by the king himself. So, although he was unable to fulfill the sexual male role in a marriage, he insisted that his queen provide male heirs...huh? Really? Then if the Queen had sex with other men as a last resort to provide a male heir, she was beheaded for her unfaithfulness. An interesting, if untenable situation in which to find oneself, eh? :)

2. In what way does this woman define "wife"--or in what way is she defined by "wife"?

I admit to being disappointed in Catherine when she fell so "head over heels" in love with Tom while still married. I felt her attraction to him was strictly physical or lustful, and she could have simply chosen to ignore it or at least control her reactions to him. This reminded me of a brief discussion my ex-husband and I had regarding his belief that I would meet someone else and fall in love once I began working outside the home full-time. I countered with the fact that I had certainly already met and knew males to whom I was attracted within the past 13 years, but I had made it clear that I was not available, and I would continue to do so--it was a CHOICE I made, not something over which I had no control! I still believe that to be true. 

As stated above, at this point in time, a wife was fulfilling a role with many duties, especially when married to the King! And as Queen, every little action was watched and noted, and became fodder for the gossip-mongers, especially those determined to undermine the woman, no matter what their motivation. I suspect that many times they were just anxious to create sensationalism itself! And yet, Catherine did try her best to influence her husbands to be better people, though I don't believe that was a culturally-defined expectation for a "wife" at this time. To her credit she did the best she could to help each of them, as well as their own children/relatives, as much as was in her power to do so. 

Anne was one of the most fascinating wives depicted, in my opinion. We meet her as an obnoxious young lady capriciously ordering everyone around, then as Catherine's sister-in-law, and finally as an abandoned and totally bereft mother of four children. Again, to her credit, Catherine (along with her brother Will) holds no grudges and works to help Anne as much as possible, until the most-feared accusation is leveled against her and Anne is imprisoned, ultimately dying. Catherine actually imperiled her own safety and well-being by literally remaining with Anne in prison and defending her until her death. As further demonstration of the "duty" of a wife to remain in a relationship, once Anne abandoned Will and their marriage by physically leaving, Will immediately inherited all her wealth and she had no recourse at any time in the future to regain it, though he did help her financially once she was rediscovered many years later. 

Catherine was kind, generous, and dedicated to those with whom she was connected. I was quite sorry she was never able to fully experience the role of "mother." 

Have you read this particular book? It was enjoyable and made me feel as if I now know what life was like for a woman in those times. 

Join us on Monday, April 6th for reviews of The Bishop's Wife by Mette Ivie Harrison. This one looks really different...and it's a mystery!!! 

That man...Jeeves...

My Man Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse

I admit I didn't resonate with this book nearly as much as most people do or have done. I guess perhaps for the same reason(s) that I believe I probably would not enjoy watching Downtown Abbey if I watched television. Although I did laugh in some places and chuckle in others, overall I just didn't connect very well with this one. 

Firstly, this was a collection of short stories, and I truly expected a novel. That was somewhat of a disappointment to me. Secondly, there were really only two of these, the first, Leave it to Jeeves, and last, The Aunt and the Sluggard, that I felt were entertaining. Overall, the parts I found most enjoyable were the self-effacing remarks/realizations by Bertie Wooster of what Jeeves must think of him on occasion. 

     "To complete the character-study of Mr. Worple, 
     he was a man of extremely uncertain temper, 
     and his tendency was to think that Corky was a  
     poor chump and that whatever step he took in 
     any directions on his own account was just 
     another proof of his innate idiocy. I should 
     imagine Jeeves feels very much the same 
     about me." (page 13)

Jeeves develops a scheme that backfires (most of them do, by the way) so that Bertie's friend, Corky, a portrait painter who has never even painted one portrait over many years, has now lost his fiancé to his uncle, Mr. Worple, whom she has now married and ironically presented with a son/heir. Unfortunately, this now cuts Corky out of any expected inheritance, though he has now been commissioned to paint a portrait of his own ex-fiancé's child, ostensibly his new cousin. 

     "It's my uncle's idea,...Muriel doesn't know about it yet. The portrait's to be a 
     surprise for her on her birthday. The nurse takes the kid out ostensibly to get a 
     breather, and they beat it down here. If you want an instance of the irony of fate, 
     Bertie, get acquainted with this. Here's the first commission I have ever had to 
     paint a portrait and the sitter is that human poached egg that has butted in and 
     bounced me out of my inheritance. Can you beat it? I call it rubbing the thing in 
     to expect me to spend my afternoons gazing into the ugly face of a little brat who 
     to all intents and purposes has hit me behind the ear with a blackjack and swiped 
     all I possess. I can't refuse to paint the portrait because if I did my uncle would 
     stop my allowance; yet every time I look up and catch that kid's vacant eye I 
     suffer agonies." (pages 23-24)

In the end, the portrait is a total flop, his uncle is livid and stops his "allowance," but Jeeves has yet another brilliant suggestion--that Corky pursue drawing for the comics. 

     'If I might make a suggestion, Mr. Corcoran - for a title of the series which you have 
     in mind - "The Adventures of Baby Blobbs."'

     Corky and I looked at the picture, then at each other in an awed way. Jeeves was 
     right. There could be no other title. (page 30)

This becomes Corky's new occupation, providing a steady and sufficient income. At least he's now supporting himself... :)

It seemed that every story involved someone trying to simply sponge off a relative or claim an inheritance so they didn't have to work for a living. That bores me after a story or two. 
I prefer to be productive, at all costs! In addition, I can handle only so much of one person being totally dependent upon another person for each and every decision/action in their life, as Bertie Wooster was with Jeeves. Yikes! I can't begin to imagine having so little independence and self-confidence! Not my type of person! 

This "book" could never have been written without the phrases "Leave it to Jeeves," as uttered by Bertie and "Very good, sir," as spoken many times by Jeeves. After all, as Bertie states repeatedly of Jeeves, "That's the sort of chap he is. You can't rattle him."

I am glad to have read this since it is referred to so often, but other than that I only found it to be mildly entertaining. Fortunately, it was short and a quick read! Now on to other books which I'm sure will be more enjoyable! How about you? Have you read any of this series by Wodehouse? What was your reaction? 

The Wife, the Maid, and...??

The Wife, the Maid, and the Mistress 

by Ariel Lawhon

No, this is not a repeat posting from December 2013, rather a follow-up based upon Ariel Lawhon's recent blog post. 

As I read Ms. Lawhon's post regarding further information about Ritzi's life after 1930, I believe I felt the shock, relief, and then happiness the author must have felt upon being contacted by Ritzi's descendants... Wait? Ritzi's descendants? Yes, the real story is that she herself disappeared from New York in the aftermath of the mysterious disappearance of Judge Joseph Crater, changed her name, and began life anew. Miss Lawhon had felt that Ritzi must have died in 1930, but how wonderful to learn she did not only live, but thrived...

I just wanted to share this "human interest" story. I thought it noteworthy...

And if you've not yet read this book, stop...and...read...it...now! :)

Classics Club Spin #8: Intense, honest...eye-opening!

Go Tell It on the Mountain 

by James Baldwin

This is one classic I am ever so grateful to have read. Many years ago I had read parts of Notes of a Native Son and was so impressed with the powerfully direct writing style. This novel resonated for me on so many levels. As with any classical book I plan to read, I purposefully did not research prior to reading. I much prefer to form my own unique reactions to a text with as little "interference" from others as possible, then research based upon my desire to know more once I have formed my own opinions... Baldwin claimed this book to be "semi-autobiographical," assuming that John is to represent him. 

This is quite a stinging commentary on the rigidly strict religious institutions and practices of the day for a storefront church in Harlem. Baldwin drops hints to the reader from the very beginning. On pages 3 and 4: "Sarah, who wore a red ribbon in her hair that day, and was fondled by her father." I don't remember that Sara's age is revealed, but I guess her to be at least 6 or 7 years old, and there is no further mention of any sexual abuse in John's home (at least that I can recall), but there is this little "slip of the tongue," if you will. Baldwin depicts the father's unwieldy righteousness as he "doctors" Roy, his youngest son's wounds, without ever considering the boy's own culpability/responsibility for the fight. Gabriel eventually blames his wife/the boys' mother, slapping her as hard as he can in the face, to which Roy reacts: 

"Don't you slap my mother. That's my mother. You slap her again, you black bastard, and I swear to God I'll kill you." 

Following this, Gabriel beats Roy with his belt, whispering "My Lord, my Lord, my Lord, my Lord." This made my stomach lurch as I reacted viscerally to this self-righteous protestation of "doing the Lord's will." Using religion to justify abuse is just about as low as any individual can get, in my opinion!

He has no true defense as his sister Florence observes:

"Yes, Lord, you was born wild, and you's going to die wild. But ain't no use to try to take the whole world with you. You can't change nothing, Gabriel. You ought to know that by now." (p. 44)

Although this particular book is set in Harlem and the characters are black, this could be any race/religious combination--there are many examples in our world today where religion is used as a basis for abuse, particularly among family members, and especially with regard to absolute patriarchy where males are granted unquestioned power to control and manipulate family members in any way they see fit. And this is one of my first complaints about many (okay, most) organized religions. I could not discern that religion had actually improved Gabriel much as a person. Granted, once he was "saved," he did stop carousing every night in the bars, getting drunk, passing out in the ditch, and screwing any woman he met, but then he adopted a "holier than thou" attitude. Gabriel was quite a conflicted character: although he married Deborah who had been gang-raped by white men as a teenager and shunned by many/most, he really never seemed to love her, in fact as she remained barren throughout their marriage, he grew to actually hate her...for her ugliness and the fact that she could not get pregnant. (I assume the rape had left her physically unable to establish a pregnancy.) He was truly a mean man who didn't appear to have much empathy or sympathy...for anyone.

Admittedly, I had to become accustomed to the dialect and the use of words in this book that I would never think of uttering, nor would I accept others using, especially other white folks like myself. However, I do believe it is this honest and accurate dialogue that contributes so very much to the power of this book--and it is powerful! Gabriel's sister, Florence states to her husband, (p. 84), "Being a preacher ain't never stopped a nigger from doing his dirt." Florence had just received a letter from Deborah (Gabriel's wife) detailing her belief that her husband has an unclaimed illegitimate son living in their town. 

She sighed...Well, he's a preacher. And if Deborah's right, he ain't got no right to be a preacher. He ain't no better'n nobody else. In fact, he ain't no better'n a murderer."

He had begun to whistle again; he stopped. "A murderer? How so?"

"Because he done let this child's mother go off and die when the child was born. That's how so." She paused. "And that sounds just like Gabriel. He ain't never thought a minute about nobody in this world but himself."

One of the things I appreciated most about this book was the insider's view of the life experiences that can build such hypocrisy into people's psyche and behavioral patterns. Gabriel and Florence were raised by a mother who constantly intoned "the Lord" into their daily lives, insisting each of them MUST be "saved." (I wondered just what kind of person she really was, as she was so manipulative of her children to get what she wanted--someone to take care of her.) Though what does that really mean?  An individual may complete certain actions, but does that truly change their outlook, attitudes, and behaviors? Gabriel was proof that outward behaviors can change, but a heart may remain just as hard as ever. Having once succumbed to a "charismatic" Methodist and been "saved" as a young teen, I truly believe this can simply be the product of emotional turmoil and fervor created by others. (As with John.) Once I began questioning the validity of these "beliefs" in an objective and logical sense, I was searching for something much more practical and applicable to everyday life, without a deity.

Interestingly, in his first years as a preacher in the south, Gabriel was quite successful as an evangelist and was in demand to travel and preach, though he cited the hypocrisy among the "older" preachers and wanted to make sure he was never like them, however, he soon proved to be just as much a hypocrite, if not worse, seducing a woman and sending her off with money he and his first wife, Deborah, had saved when she admitted she was pregnant. Then to treat his family as he did. And like his mother did to him, he expected his children to all be SAVED, too. .

I had a feeling about John's observations of Elisha, the 17-year-old preacher's cousin who had himself just become a preacher in his own right; that he may be attracted to Elisha in ways other than just idolizing a fellow teen a few years older who had already accomplished so much. And I learned in later research, Baldwin did "come out" as gay. (I thought I had remembered that somewhere...) Now I really want to read his book Giovanni's Room.

The last scene of this book is so thought-provoking! Although John has finally succumbed and become "saved," it is obvious that he perhaps now fears his stepfather Gabriel even more so than before, for now that he is saved I can believe Gabriel may well beat him even more, to "help" him stay on the straight and narrow path, of course. (All in Christian love...) Sadly, I felt that John is damned if he is "saved," and damned if he isn't... I think Gabriel just got off on the power trip of beating his children and wife. Ironically, although John is not Gabriel's biological son, he is the boy who seemingly "obeys" and does what is expected of him, as opposed to Roy, Gabriel's biological son, who is the opposite, much as his father was as a youngster. 

If you haven't read anything written by James Baldwin, I would highly recommend this book. So powerful, so intense, yet so very readable!

Classics Club Spin #7: A Truly Timeless Masterpiece

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

This is a larger-than-life novel!! Although quite intense, it is so very readable! If you decide to read or (as in my case) reread it, please obtain this Penguin Classic version (ISBN 978-0-14-303943-3). The 34-page introduction written by a Steinbeck scholar, Robert Demotte, is not to be missed. There is so much pertinent background material that makes you realize Steinbeck literally put his heart and soul into researching this novel over the course of a decade, though it only took 100 days for him to actually write it! Awards conferred upon this work: National Book Award (1939), Pulitzer Prize (1940), and it was cited prominently when Steinbeck was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1962. For once I totally agree that this novel is so very deserving of such accolades! 

I originally started rereading this after some 43 years as part of the NPR GoW 75th Anniversary Read Along. This link takes you to the first of three online discussions, the last of which was led by the National Steinbeck Center scholar-in-residence, and author of On Reading the Grapes of Wrath, Susan Shillinglaw. I became too busy to participate in the third/last session, but have read the comments/discussion. (Links to these later sessions are located on the right as you scroll down a bit.) I found it fascinating to read others' comments on this timeless masterpiece. So scary how it still relates all too well to our world now! 

I now remember how dreary this novel seems in the aftermath of completing it, and yet, there is also that glimmer of "hope," be it ever so dim and faraway. How to define that bit of "hope"? The answer is quite complex, as when contemplating anything about this novel. It is as if Steinbeck overlooks nothing in his social commentary: familial relationships, the breakdown of an agrarian society, the unbridled greed of corporate/business/banking entities, gender roles, organized religion and just "preachers," corruption among those with money and the "police"/law, and symbolism for almost every word written in this work. Steinbeck's word choice actually elicits visceral reactions for many readers, me included, and not just once or twice, but repeatedly throughout the novel. It would be very easy to teach a one-semester course based upon this work alone, there is so much to be discerned and teased out and related to so much else in our world: other literary works, social commentaries now and then, etc. Absolutely fascinating! I am so very glad I reread it 40+ years later; my interpretation now is so much more intense and fulfilling!

I am literally scared as I read and complete this novel...scared that it could all happen again, in the present-day U.S. I'm not sure what could or would ever happen to make that impossible, but at present, I feel the corporations and elite rich folk have enough power and control to wipe out many, if not most, of the lower SES folks, at their whim. Although I've always considered myself an eternal optimist, the past 12-15 years have demonstrated this possibility in the ever-lower wages for most U.S. lower- and middle-class jobs, and the ever-increasing numbers of working poor who slip lower and lower, into poverty or below, on the economic scale. While corporations get to deposit and hold their profits overseas and evade paying U.S. taxes, set pricing, exploit world labor for the cheapest wages and most dangerous settings. Overall, the setup is much the same now as it was then. 

As Steinbeck notes repeatedly throughout this novel, it is only by organization of the masses to strike, that any change will occur. However, as also noted by Casy and others, men must be willing to sacrifice their own lives, and that of their families, in order to "fight back" at all. We see that many of these men must have separated themselves from family in order to pursue such noble yet dangerous causes. Perhaps it is this conflict that upsets me the most, the fact that even if a person can understand the source and continuing manipulation of the migrant masses, the "common man" has little to no recourse without being killed. We have certainly witnessed this throughout history in so many ways and times. However, as is noted many times in this novel, for every step taken forward, or gain in civil rights, there may be steps backward, but never totally back to the beginning, it continues to improve, little by little, through the advances and retreats... I am using the term "civil rights" in an extremely broad sense, to include workers' rights, equality among genders (purposefully included more than just two...) and people of all heritages/backgrounds, overall a respect for each and every human to have equal access to all societal entities and opportunities for growth and development. 

It interests me that the message I take away from this novel, that we all must help each other in any way we can, is echoed by so many present-day "philosophers." I could try to name them all, but it seems the list would be endless. I do believe that the human race is slowly but surely realizing this really is all each of us can do for the world/Universe, but without that, there truly is no hope for this species. Of course, the ultimate goal is to grow these numbers of people who are motivated thusly in their daily behaviors and intentions to a critical mass that will actually change our man-made society for the better. James Redfield is the first "modern-day" spiritualist I've read who echoed this philosophy and took it a step further. In the years since first reading The Celestine Prophecy, I have developed a very practical life philsophy of exactly this sentiment: try to leave each person I encounter throughout the day a little better off for having interacted with me, in whatever way that is possible, based upon mutual respect, kindness, and compassion. Simple. Hands-on. Practical. It never ceases to amaze me how this simple philosophy in action seemingly allows me to spot those who profess to live their life this way, typically under the guise of organized religion, and yet, in reality, do not... Perhaps their intentions get lost in all the ritualism, etc., 

Have you read this classic? If not, you really really should. It is timeless and there is so much to say about it. I could easily create 20 different posts analyzing so many aspects of this text, but basically, that has all been done and is available online. (I have 10 pages of notes and so many post-its in the book, you can hardly see the edges of the pages!) You could start with the NPR link above for that... Rereading this now has reinforced my beliefs about the importance of each individual contributing whatever they can to better this world. No contribution is too small. And that is the way I will continue into 2015... Happy New Year!    

Not me...!!

The True Story of a Not so Crazy Cat Lady 

by Catherine Walker

For those who know me, it is not difficult to imagine that once I knew of this book's existence, I had to read it! Although I was fearful this might prove to be a very shallow read, I was surprised at the depth and poignancy of this book. (Though I found the writing within the first 40 pages to be a bit choppy, the majority of this book flowed along.) It had much to say about how we portray others in our lives, whether true or not, based strictly upon stereotypes as perpetuated by society at large. I think I feared it would just be a recounting of humorous kitty-cat antics, kinda like watching entertaining feline YouTube videos! But it was so much more... Within these pages is contained grief, heartache, loss, love found and love lost, betrayal, and perhaps most importantly, true love's perseverance! And who better to provide unconditional love than our furry companions?

As a fellow cat lover (As evidenced by all the pictures below!), I could so easily relate to Harriet's descriptions of her five adoptees and their individual personalities and habits! Though it seemed Modi was the one most attuned to her moods and needs. Similarly to Harriet, my Smokie came to me not long after my divorce, and she has been my support system since we met! Weirdly, my ex-husband's name is the same as Harriet's! Having adopted four more fur-babies over the past year, my husband and I now, as did Harriet, have a total of five felines in residence. This makes for much entertainment and exciting times! Who needs TV? Not us... :)

Smokie "hiding"

Smokie the Queen

A lap full of "Mini"

Mini-Me

Momma (Mini-Me's Mom) often rises up
on her hind legs to be petted!

Miss Sissy

Sissy and her brother, Boston

Boston, the sole male kitty

Interestingly, one of the first men to notice Harriet and flirt, even asking her out, was...himself...married! Yuck! Harriet's husband had left her for her own best friend just four months before. I've known of two different times in my own little world when a husband has left his wife for her best friend. I don't get it, but that's just me. And if you're that unhappy and determined to "cheat," why not just file for divorce and be done with it? And you call that being someone's best friend? Really?!? But...I digress. :)  

In speaking of her busy-body neighbor, Harriet notes

At first I used to wonder what it was about me Mrs. Ellis disliked so much but I'd since learnt that she had a quarrel with the entire world. With a bovine-like strut and a physique to match, I wondered if Mrs. Ellis had ever been a catch. Considering what a gentleman Mr. Ellis was, I presumed so. (p. 22)

I was a bit taken aback by this comment, implying that if a woman is not considered "pretty" or doesn't have a "desirable" build, she is not a "catch." However, it did appear her personality wasn't attractive, so perhaps Harriet/the author is just wondering what it is that did attract her husband to this woman in years past...though I'd prefer to believe there is a person out there for each person, to make him/her happy in this lifetime. I have known several people like this; I always try to have sympathy for them for being so very unhappy, though that's difficult at times!! I never know if they just don't realize how they are, or just don't care... Harriet appeared to be at the opposite end of this spectrum! 

I did have sympathy for Harriet at her 29th birthday party where her whole family had gathered--this was her first time to realize just how much they had pigeonholed her as a "crazy cat lady," with all her gifts reflecting either cats or kittens in some manner, as well as their conversation regarding what they obviously considered her obsession. It seemed none of them could or would even try to truly understand the support and "unconditional positive regard" she received from these furry felines, especially at such a painful time in her life when she really needed such unreserved affection. I sometimes think that we humans feel as if we can mistreat those closest to us (typically by blood) without any thought as to how the recipient of this treatment feels as a result. Though I do admit I wanted to take Harriet's head in my hands and shake her for allowing others' opinions to matter so much to her! Very sad, though I realize many people do just that. Perhaps I learned at a very young age not to listen to others when they talked mean about me or things beyond my control, else I would have spent the rest of my life upset and frustrated. 

Dan was obviously a very caring and committed father to his son, Joe. I was gratified that when Ollie volunteered to house- and cat-sit, allowing Harriet to visit Dan for the weekend after all, Joe was already there, since Dan had asked him to visit as soon as Harriet had canceled. And they had already baked cookies! Now that's my kind of Dad! :) 

I wonder how other readers who have never lived with cats might receive this book? I don't know, but it certainly resonated for me on so many levels and (unusual for me) I really cried, the tears-streaming-down-my-face kind of crying, as I read this book. So much to grieve for, and yet, in the end, so much to celebrate and anticipate for a happy future!!

That rascally raccoon!!

Rascal: A Memoir of a Better Era 

by Sterling North

It had been so very long since I'd read this book! 

I still think it is an excellent read and it made me shed a few tears yet once again...

Published in 1963, this book was honored with the following awards (per Wikipedia):

1963--Dutton Animal Book Award 

1964--Newbery Honor, 
           Lewis Carroll Shelf Award

1965--Dorothy Canfield Fisher Children's 
           Book Award

1966--Sequoyah Book Award, William Allen 
           White Children's Book Award, and 
           Pacific Northwest Library Association 
           Young Reader's Choice Award

While I doubt any single reader always agrees with book award honorees, I certainly believe this book deserved all these--perhaps more! 

This is an autobiographical work describing the year Thomas Sterling North/aka Sterling North raised a raccoon kit and kept it as a pet. As an 11-year-old whose mother had died and father was often away from home, traveling for business, this boy had what many children might view as an idyllic childhood. He "no strict rules" to follow; his father was quite complacent about life overall and naturally assumed his son would take care of himself adequately. And, although "civilization" had arrived in the Wisconsin wilderness during World War I, the majority of land was still in its wild state, perfect for exploration and discovery, particularly by an adolescent male at the time. I myself was such a "tom-boy," exploring every square inch of my grandmother's 
180-acre farm where I lived, I am very jealous of Sterling's uninhibited life as a child...as well as his menagerie: woodchucks, skunks, Poe-the-Crow, Wowser the St. Barnard (self-appointed pet raccoon guardian), and Rascal. And who else would be allowed to build a life-sized canoe in the middle of his own living room!?! 

An older Sterling observes that he may well have substituted his pets for his three older siblings who had all left home, leaving him the only child to live with his father. He mentions his dissatisfaction with the religious platitudes offered to him as explanation for his mother's premature death at the age of only 47 years. Additionally, he exposes the hypocritical nature of his next-door neighbor, the Methodist minister Reverend Hooton, who "had been under his Model T all day long using pulpit words but not in the Sunday manner." 

There is much historical information included in this story: school opening delayed one month in the fall of 1918 so the women and children could attend to the crops since the majority of able-bodied men were fighting in the war; the process for growing, harvesting, and drying tobacco at that time; the lack of paved roads; and the new "iron horse"/automobile vs. horse and buggy for transportation. I particularly enjoyed his description of the "big race" between Mike Conway's Donnybrook and Gabrield Thurman's Ford, he and Rascal feeling as if they had won yet another victory in that same day...

Yet in many ways, Sterling was a typical kid. I laughed as he described 
          a phosphorescent stump [in the woods] which gleamed at night 
          with foxfire, as luminescent as all the lightning bugs in the world
          --ghostly and terrifying to boys who saw it for the first time. It 
          scared me witless as I came home one evening from fishing. So I
          made it a point to bring my friends that way on other evenings, 
          not wishing to be selfish about my pleasures. (pages 16-17)

But my favorite part of this book is Rascal and his relationship with Sterling. I believe that as humans, we may finally be realizing the potential for communication and relationships with our companion animals, and perhaps to some degree with wild animals. I am reminded of A Lion Called Christian: The True Story of the Remarkable Bond Between Two Friends and a Lion by Anthony Bourke and John Rendall and The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate. It is possible to establish mutually respectful relationships with wild animals, however, they must typically be returned to their wild habitat at some point, if they are to at least remain healthy, if not happy. I have known several people who raised raccoon kits and kept them as companions, but inevitably within a year to 18 months, these animals appear to develop an insatiable restlessness and require release from captivity. I admit to crying as Sterling watched Rascal swim away from the canoe to his future. I guess I would have done the same for Rascal, but it would have broken my heart, as I am sure it did Sterling's. 

Though some of the writing in this children's book may be a bit stilted for children now, it is a very worthwhile read. I hope my grandchildren enjoy this one as much as I did when young and even more so now... Have you read it? Or a similar book? I believe it is a classic. 

Those Two Crazy Kids!

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

I had no real expectations when I started reading this book. In fact, I put off purchasing a copy to read for quite awhile and just kept wondering  about it, until...I...finally...succumbed... And I'm so very glad I did! My curiosity was well rewarded with this reading experience! For me, this story is all about acceptance and willingness to open ourselves to experiencing others just as they are... At least for this book, Rowell ranks right up there with John Green, in my opinion!

Eleanor had a very tough time during her life and survived and thrived despite many challenges. I, myself, was provided the basics and some extras throughout my childhood, so my heart hurt for the disparity Eleanor had to endure: no new clothes, nor even clothes that actually fit but were several sizes too large, no personal toiletry items, not even deodorant, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush... Nor the right to privacy while bathing, etc.! (There was no door on the one bathroom in the household, per her stepfather's demands. Now that's just creepy, in my opinion!) I have known children and adults who must endure despite similar deprivation, and that creates its own level of unhealthy stress, typically leading to emotional challenges and imbalances. Life is already tough enough, but such circumstances make it ever so much tougher! 

Additionally, it is so very difficult for her to reconcile her mother's apparent kindness and caring about her and her siblings with that same person's insistence to remain with a man who abuses her children in so many ways: negligence and certainly verbal and emotional abuse, at the very least. No child should be forced to live in such an environment! Research keeps proving that these other forms of abuse are just as harmful as physical abuse.Although the only person Richie appears to physically abuse currently is his wife/Eleanor's mother, there is always a threat of that same pain being inflicted upon the children, with Eleanor hinting at the possibility of sexual abuse, as she makes it obvious that she feels this could certainly be happening now or will more than likely occur in the future with her younger sister (remember the door-less bathroom...), hence her feeling of utter desperation to rescue her siblings from life with this man in his house. Yet, realistically, she cannot...

Although Eleanor did file a report to involve Child Protective Services, she was then sent to live elsewhere by her mother for a year as punishment. (And I suspect, to protect her from her stepfather's anger.) She was only allowed back in the house on condition that she never again report anything to anyone about their lives. As I read, it was difficult for me to imagine why this man kept this woman and her children with him. Although it had to be the power and control that he could wield daily; abusers are all about controlling and manipulating their victims.

This girl's life is rather obviously unlike that of children we typically know in the U.S. middle class, though I always wonder just how many of them are actually hiding similar deprivations and physical threats in their physical lives, so they can appear to be as "normal" as possible, and thereby hopefully "get along" in society at large. My heart goes out to them. For, as Harold states in The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce:

        The world was made up of people putting one foot in front of the other, and a life 
     might appear ordinary simply because the person living it had been doing so for a long 
     time. (58)

And so many times children simply learn to cope as best they can, particularly when living with an abuser in their own home. So never assume from appearances alone that anyone, particularly a child, has a "normal" life. Though Park has never endured any such deprivation as Eleanor, he still, as do all of us, must conquer his own demons, so to speak! And it is especially difficult to be a teenager, perhaps even more so in current times. (Though I'm convinced every generation feels they have it much worse than those in the past. :)) 

Park describes Eleanor's mismatched ill-fitting clothing and accessories (a dozen necklaces with a man's flannel shirt and "scarves wrapped around her wrists): 

     She reminded Park of a scarecrow or one of the trouble dolls his mom kept on her 
     dresser. Like something that wouldn't survive in the wild. (8)

As she stands in the aisle of the bus on her first day at this new school, trying to find an empty seat (since every student sitting alone in their seat had scooted over to prevent her from sitting with them), Park suddenly scoots over:

        "Sit down," he said. It came out angrily. The girl turned to him, like she couldn't tell 
     whether he was another jerk or what. "Jesus-fuck," Park said softly, nodding to the 
     space next to him, just sit down."
        The girl sat down. She didn't say anything--thank God, she didn't thank him--and she 
     left six inches of space on the seat between them.
        Park turned toward the Plexiglas window and waited for the world of suck to hit the 
     fan. (9)

I started loving Park at that very moment! And, the "bullies" who sat at the back of the bus left him/her alone at that time, although Park does consider all the alternatives to not sit with her, he finally relinquishes and accepts her continuing presence in his bus seat. The progression of their relationship is definitely unique and Park works hard to get her to open up with him at all. (This relates directly to the cover picture.) As Park begins to reach out to Eleanor, he must be creative, because Eleanor has learned to be as invisible as possible to the world even to her own "parents" in her own home! It is a strategy to help her survive with as little humiliation as possible. But Park finally gives up on his own strategy to "seem cool" and ignore Eleanor, as he reaches out in unique ways to communicate with and get to know her. 

     ...maybe...he just didn't recognize all those other girls. The way a computer drive will 
     spit out a disc if it doesn't recognize the formatting.
        When he touched Eleanor's hand, he recognized her. He knew. (72)

     Disintegrated.
        Like something had gone wrong beaming her onto the Starship Enterprise. 
        If you've ever wondered what that feels like, it's a lot like melting--but more violent.
        Even in a million different pieces, Eleanor could still feel Park holding her hand...
     She sat completely still because she didn't have any other option. She tried to 
     remember what kind of animals paralyzed their prey before they ate them...
        Maybe Park had paralyzed her with his ninja magic, his Vulcan handhold, and now he
     was going to eat her.
        That would be awesome. (72)

I believe these passages exemplify Rowell's writing expertise; to me, this felt so authentic and yet aptly expressed Park's feelings of love and fascination, as well as Eleanor's dry sense of humor. Rowell does a good job of exposing prejudices and discrimination, both as victims and perpetrators, as well as progress with some of the characters learning to overcome such beliefs and learn to get to know people for who they are. I LOVE THAT!!

Once upon a time, Park had a thing going on with the most popular, and perhaps meanest, girl in the neighborhood, Tina. She still had his mother cut and style her hair. He would ignore her come-ons...

        He didn't even think Tina really liked him, deep down. It was more like she didn't want 
     him to get over her. And not-so-deep-down, Park didn't want Tina to get over him.
        It was nice to have the most popular girl in the neighborhood offering herself to him 
     every now and then.
        Park rolled onto his stomach and pressed his face into his pillow. He'd thought he 
     was over caring what people thought about him. He'd thought that loving Eleanor 
     proved that.
        But he kept finding new pockets of shallow inside himself. He kept finding new ways 
     to betray her. (178)

Wow...he really is growing up! Good for him! I particularly loved the fact that Park fought for Eleanor's "honor" and didn't use his martial art moves, fearing he might severely hurt his opponent. And later he is aware of the ways in which he could actually kill Richie--he finds the man drunk and disoriented on his own lawn.

        She was tired of missing Park. She just wanted to see him. [...] Even if he had spent 
     his formative years tongue-kissing Tina. None of it was vile enough to make Eleanor 
     stop wanting him. (How vile would that have to be? she wondered.)
        Maybe she should just go over to his house right now and pretend that nothing had 
     happened. Maybe she would, if it weren't Christmas Eve. Why didn't Jesus ever work 
     with her. (186)

Indeed. This poor child had no one and nothing, other than Park. I adore Park's parents for helping him help her when she needed it most. I trust those three words were "I love you." If not, then all hope is lost...and I refuse to just give up on these two wonderful people!

Oh, really...if you haven't read this, you should! An excellent book! I will be reading some of her other books, too. How about you? Thoughts on Rainbow Rowell's writing? This book?