Childhood drama, trauma, and Gilbert's extreme "clannishness"!

Anne of Ingleside by L.M. Montgomery

Join the Green Gables Read-Along initiated by Reeder Reads!

Ah, Anne must accustom herself to a new home, Ingleside:

  I once thought I would never love it. I hated it when we went there first...hated it for its very virtues. They were an insult to my dear House of Dreams....I reveled in a luxury of homesickness for a while. Then...I found little rootlets of affection for Ingleside beginning to sprout out. I fought against it...I really did...but at last I had to give in and admit I loved it. And I've loved it better every year since. (10)

Anne did finally adjust, especially once she had gardens established and more than enough children to fill the house! 
I love the way Susan always addresses Anne as "Mrs. Dr. Dear"! It is so very sweet and yet respectful...

In this sixth installment we learn much more about Anne and Gilbert's offspring, especially some of their various (and rather common) trials and tribulations! There is the time that Jem was missing and the whole town was out looking for him--he was found safe and sound right in the house! It seems that several of Anne's children have inherited her own creative imagination. Her Walter reminds me so much of Paul Irving from Anne's first teaching position and Anne herself...
  Walter was lying awake in his bed trying to escape from the haunting thought that he was to go away next day by giving free rein to fancy. Walter had a very vivid imagination. It was to him a great white charger,...on which he could gallop backward or forward in time and space....The black plaster-of-Paris cat on the library mantelpiece was a fairy witch. It came alive at night and prowled about the house, grown to enormous size. Walter ducked his head under the bedclothes and shivered. He was always scaring himself with his own fancies. (36) 
Ah, shades of his mama and the way she and Diana became so scared they wouldn't walk certain paths at night! :) 

Enter the main 'tribulation' of the moment for Anne and her children, particularly Susan, and much less for Gilbert as he (comparatively) spends so very little time at home--Gilbert's own "Aunt Mary Maria" (actually his father's cousin)! She reminded me so much of my mother it was scary! As Anne became a bit perturbed by said "Aunt,"
  "I think I'll go upstairs and lie down"... She kissed Walter good-bye rather casually and hurriedly...very much as if she were not thinking about him at all. Walter would not cry. Aunt Mary Maria kissed him on the forehead...Walter hated to be moistly kissed on the forehead...and said:
  "Mind your table manners at Lowbridge, Walter. Mind you ain't greedy. If you are, a Big Black Man will come along with a big black bag to pop naughty children into."
  It was perhaps as well that Gilbert had gone out...and did not hear this. He and Anne had always made a point of never frightening their children with such ideas or allowing anyone else to do it. (38)
This resonated so strongly with me. I also tried to never use fear as a motivator for my own children in any way. In my opinion, that should be reserved for the truly dangerous lessons--you could get hit by a car if you run into the road, you will get burned if you touch a hot stove, etc.--for it loses it's efficacy if overused and teaches children to manipulate emotions to influence people, rather than encouraging the development and use of intellectual logic and rationale to understand, reason, and learn. 

Walter's experience at Lowbridge is short-lived as he is so traumatized that he actually runs away the first night and walks SIX MILES to return home, convinced that his mother is dead. Upon entering the house at the first light of dawn and being comforted by Susan and assured Mother has not died, he tells Susan,
  I suffered awful agony of the mind"... (52)
OMGoodness! Is that not cute? So dramatic, and yet so very sincere! Anne reassures him,
  "Oh, Mummy, you're not going to die...and you still love me, don't you?"
  "Darling, I've no notion of dying...and I love you so much it hurts. To think that you walked all the way from Lowbridge in the night!"
  "And on an empty stomach," shuddered Susan. "The wonder is he is alive to tell it. The days of miracles are not yet over and that you may tie to."
  "A spunky little lad," laughed Dad... (52)
I love Susan's "and that you may tie to" phrase! Upon obtaining a promise from his parents that he needn't ever leave home again unless he wanted to do so, he hesitates saying that he will never want to leave again, realizing that he wouldn't mind seeing Alice again! Ah...the attraction to girls had just begun. :)

Susan tells Rebecca Dew that
  ...Nan and Di have named their old china doll with the split head after Aunt Mary Maria and whenever she scolds them they go out and drown her...the doll I mean...in the rainwater hogshead. Many's the jolly drowning we have had, I can assure you. (60)  
I had to laugh! Although Susan's well aware Anne and Gilbert would put a stop to this practice, she keeps this secret ritual from them. Unfortunately, this "Aunt" extends her initially announced two-week stay into many months, which was not uncommon at that time. Relatives might 'visit' for years..or even decades! Anne and Susan are both frustrated and upset with this visitor's behavior, but Anne keeps trying to rationalize and be kind to her...ultimately, it is her over-the-top kind act that ironically upsets Aunt Mary Maria enough to return to her own home and leave them in peace yet once again! Again, I laughed out loud!! Montgomery's humor is so well-timed! As Anne rather guiltily realizes, "I've never sped a parting guest so willingly." (80)

In the process of trying to make a match between two people who were already secretly engaged, Anne 
  ...ruined her dining room carpet, destroyed two treasured heirlooms and spoiled her library ceiling....[T]here is one consolation...Jen Pringle's letter today saying she is going to marry Louis Stedman whom she met at my party.The Bristol candlesticks were not sacrificed entirely in vain. (100)
Jem worked and saved his money to purchase what he thought were real pearls for his mother's birthday party, then discovered they were not real--he was devestated.
  "Oh, Mother dearwums, those pearls aren't real pearls...I thought they were...I did think they were...did..."
  Jem's eyes were full of tears. He couldn't go on.
  If Anne wanted to smile there was no sign of it on her face. Shirley had bumped his head that day, Nan had sprained her ankle, Di had lost her voice with a cold. Anne had kissed and bandaged and soothed; but this was different... this needed all the secret wisdom of mothers.
  "Jem, I never thought you supposed they were real pearls. I knew they weren't...at least in one sense of real. In another, they are the most real things I've ever had given to me. Because there was love and work and self-sacrifice in them...and that makes them more precious to me than all the gems that divers have fished up from the sea for queens to wear. Darling, I wouldn't exchange my pretty beads for the necklace I read of last night which some millionaire gave his bride and which cost half a million. So that shows you what your gift is worth to me, dearest of dear little sons." (113)

Jem is seemingly unlucky with befriending and loving dogs, Diana and Nan are both easily conned by other girls who feed them lies, Rilla tosses a whole cake into the stream rather than delivering it to the church as promised because she thought it would be awful to be seen carrying a cake! As Anne muses about her girls, 
  They were still hers...wholly hers, to mother and love and protect. They still came to her with every love and grief of their little hearts. For a few years longer they would be hers...and then? Anne shivered. Motherhood was very sweet...but very terrible. 
  "I wonder what life holds for them," she whispered.
  "At least, let's hope and trust they'll each get as good a husband as their mother got," said Gilbert teasingly. (194)
Anne considers:
  Well, that was life. Gladness and pain...hope and fear...and change. Always change! You could not help it. You had to let the old go and take the new into your heart...learn to love it...and then let it go in turn. (212)
Her final prayer:
...Dear God,...help all mothers everywhere. We need so much help, with the little sensitive, loving hearts and minds that look to us for guidance and love and understanding. (33)
Of course, this should include fathers and all caregivers to children, not just mothers. :)

I am always left with such an appreciation for Anne's kindness, generosity, and respect for all by the end of each of these books! It really is inspiring to me! How about you? Have you read any of these Green Gable books? If not, perhaps you will...

Is it just reading with your Mother?

 The End of Your Life Book Club 

                      by Will Schwalbe

This book had so much to say...about reading...about books...about sharing reactions...about love...about pride...about parent/child relationships, especially in adulthood. 'Cause Will and his mother, Mary Ann, definitely (in my opinion, at least) had a remarkable friendship and camaraderie which seemed to culminate in their shared reading experiences. Personally, it is difficult for me to imagine such a give-and-take relationship with my own mother...suffice it to say, she was nothing like Mary Ann. To me, Mary Ann was the quintessential mom, depicting my idealized version! Will did an amazing job of memorializing her in this book, while simultaneously demonstrating the purpose of literature! 

Literature as defined by Merriam-Webster online: (1) written works (such as poems, plays, and novels) that are considered to be very good and to have lasting importance, (2) books, articles, etc., about a particular subject, (3) printed materials (such as booklets, leaflets, and brochures) that provide information about something. To me, "literature" can be virtually anything we read, but it is in the sharing of written materials that meaning and so much more is determined; each individual providing their own unique interpretation of and reactions to the written word. Mary Ann believed "books are the most powerful tool in the human arsenal" and that reading all kinds of books "is how you take part in the human conversation." (p. 326). Our book club demonstrates that! As she stated: 
                    The appeal of reading...lay in its indifference: there was something undeferring about 
                    literature. Books did not care who was reading them or whether one read them or not. 
                    All readers were equal, herself included.
Refugees would always request books, especially for their children, "sometimes even before medicine or shelter" (p. 110)

Courtesy NY Times
Robert H. Chapman/Courtesy Will Schwalbe
Mary Ann Schwalbe and her children,
including Will Schwalbe, at left;
circa 1967.

This picture of mother and children speaks volumes! You can definitely "see" Mary Ann's delight in her children reflected in her own expression. And...just look at that smirky little grin on Will's face! I believe the attitude behind that grin was accurately reflected in Will's daily life. His mom instituted a mandatory Sunday School attendance policy about which Will was not overly thrilled. However, he eventually selected the Christian Science Sunday School, mainly because "the cookies were store-bought and of the highest quality" and Tang was served. "It was fun to both follow the rules--I was going to Sunday School--and cast my lot with the outlaws [Christian Science believers]." (p. 94) 

Religion played a large part in their discussion of Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. Although I am do not believe in a deity, nor ascribe to an organized religion, I was fascinated with this book and the story, but not at all put off by John Ames' Christian foundation for his understanding of life. And typically, that would be a distraction for me. Mary Ann felt that this book should make Will "want to have faith," however, Will states he feels the same as John's friend's son who "describes himself not as an atheist," but rather that he is in a "state of categorical unbelief." This appears to frustrate Mary Ann and she changes the subject; one of the few times it seems she disagrees with one of her children and persists in trying to change him. 

Mary Ann had what Will termed "a slightly socialistic streak" when it came to treats and possessions. If one of the 3 children tried to "hog" more than their fair share of a treat, she would redistribute the portions, making certain that same child received "the smallest portion by far." (p. 85) Likewise, when it came to their possessions, mandatory sharing was the policy. I totally agree with the treat reapportionment, but I believe it is healthy for each child to have at least a few items they can feel are theirs alone and they are not compelled to share with their siblings, unless they choose to do so. But perhaps that is simply the result of my being an only child.

I could appreciate Will's description of the one single most effective tool they could use as children to avoid household chores, etc.: "Like churches during the Middle Ages, books conferred instant sanctuary. Once you entered one, you couldn't be disturbed." (p. 68) Therefore, if you could prove you were actively engaged in reading, you were exempt from common chores. I would have never had to do anything as a child since I virtually always had my "nose in a book," as they say! In fact, my grandmother would become a bit angry with me for walking through the house while reading! She always feared I would fall! I could relate to Mary Ann's dismissal of hypocritical double standards: "Mom was always a little amazed at parents who thought their kids should be reading more but who never read themselves." (p. 68) She and her husband read during the week and would sometimes spend whole weekend days reading! Wow...that would have been my dreamworld as a child! 

So many people noted Mary Ann's bravery and courage to travel internationally visiting refugee campus, monitoring elections, etc. However, she did not believe herself to have been courageous, as she had chosen these actions. In her opinion, people who qualified as courageous had to endure and overcome challenging situations into which they were placed by no choice of their own, and in fact would certainly never have chosen. 

Each of our book club members greatly admired Mary Ann on so many levels, especially with regard to the unique relationship she developed with each of her children. She learned who they were, about their strengths and challenges, and then enabled and guided their development overall, all while working full-time outside the home and traveling much of the time. We loved the discussion of books and appreciated the fact that many of those listed were ones we've read and discussed in book club and/or on our own. This prompted listing and ordering of many different books!! In fact, just one or two people could use the book discussions contained within to have their own "book club"! :)

Have you read this yet? I would definitely recommend it. What are your thoughts?

An e-short story by Rachel Joyce

A Faraway Smell of Lemon

by Rachel Joyce

In actuality, I only read this e-short story because I received an email about another author's e-short story having been released this morning. Once I entered my Kobo account (Yes, there is a source for even e-books other than Amazon...), I realized that I had already purchased and downloaded that e-short story, but decided to purchase and read this one, realizing this author had also written The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry which our book club will be reading and discussing in January of 2015. I really wanted to acquaint myself with Joyce's writing style... (And I do have a confession regarding e-publications...unless it's a short story that I can only procure in electronic format, I don't. I read one e-book and I prefer the heft of the physical book in my hands. Though I do get the convenience factor of e-books...) 

I found Joyce's writing style to be very straightforward, yet revealing the "full story" gradually through the protagonist's interactions with and thoughts about others. Binny was a sympathetic character to whom I could relate, especially her aversion to cleaning house! ;) You can assume Binny has probably experienced a tough time developing romantic/interpersonal relationships since she is a self-described "giant" who must duck to clear doorways and is "big-boned" as her mother told her throughout her childhood. Typically, in our society/culture, larger women are not viewed as "attractive" or physically acceptable to others as partners.

I believe Binny's aversion to housekeeping was one symptom of her depression, resulting from repressing her own emotions, which becomes clear as the story unfolds. Her parents had died not so long ago, but she refused to cry or show her emotions at that time, then Oliver, her current "partner," ups and leaves her, confessing his affair with another woman who is now pregnant. Although Binny is beside herself, true to form, she is still willing herself to remain stoic, refusing to deal with the emotional turmoil.

Rather than dealing with her emotions by expressing them verbally, instead she chooses to throw plates, covering her kitchen floor with the "thousand blue ceramic pins" that were formed, then she "swept the splinters of china into her hands and squeezed until she felt them spike the skin." (This process reminded me a bit of "cutting" behaviors that some people do to "relieve" themselves of emotional overload/misery.)  

It was amazing to see how Binny reacted to the cleaning shop worker...and finally obtained some relief. Proof that none of us ever knows when we might have significant impact upon someone else's life in the seemingly most insignificant interactions.

I highly recommend this story. Have you read it? Or have you read anything else she has written? What was your reaction?