Love is really at the heart of life, no matter the location!

Born Under a Million Shadows 

by Andrea Busfield

This is one of the very first books the Borders Book Club read. 

It is one of my favorite books ever...and particularly of those I've read set in Afghanistan. 

While working at Borders I often recommended it as an alternative to The Kite Runner. 

I particularly appreciate the fact that BUaMS presents a much more diverse 

group of characters, and thereby, I believe, 

is more approachable for many readers than TKR might be. 

One of my favorite first sentences in any book appears here:

My name is Fawad, and my mother tells me I was born under the shadow of the Taliban. (3)

Immediately followed by

Because she said no more, I imagined her stepping out of the sunshine and into the dark,

crouching in a corner to protect the stomach that was hiding me, 

while a man with a stick watched over us, ready to beat me into the world. (3)

Yikes! I guess that sounds about right, given what I've read of the Taliban... In speaking of his friends, Spandi, Jahid, and Jamilla:

...all of us were born during the time of the Taliban, but I only heard my mother talk of them as men making shadows, so I guess if she'd ever learned to write she might have been a poet. 

Instead, and as Allah willed it, she swept the floors of the rich for a handful of afs 

that she hid in her clothes and guarded through the night. (3)

In discussing his friend, Jahid's age:

We don't celebrate birthdays in Afghanistan; we only remember victories and death. (4)

Ah. Life is truly a challenge for so many people in this world. Those of us who have no direct knowledge of such challenges to survival are truly lucky and should be appreciative of our opportunities. Of Jahid, Fawad's mother admonishes him to "keep away"...from that "dirty little thief." 

How my mother actually thought I could keep away from Jahid was anyone's guess.

But this is a common problem with adults: they ask for the impossible 

and then make your life a misery when you can't obey them. 

The fact is I lived under the same roof as Jahid, along with his fat cow of a mother, 

his donkey of a father, and two more of their dirty-faced children, Wahid and Obaidullah. (5)

Ooohhh...I can only guess that Fawad is repeating that which his mother has stated to him regarding the descriptions of his relatives. Her family had lost everything once the Taliban gained rule over the country. 

I was no expert, but it was pretty clear my mother was depressed. (6)

And who wouldn't be? Going from owning your own home to being dependent upon the generosity of your sister and her husband for food and shelter for you and your son, and to have lost your other child, your only daughter. 

It is obvious that respect for others and using respectful language is not the norm for Afghans. At one point Fawad and Jahid are fighting about money and their respective mothers, and Fawad is cruel...

My country can be a tough place to live in if you're poor, but it's even tougher if you're poor 

and ugly. And now Jahid was like stone, a stone that knows he will never find a woman 

who will willingly marry him, but whose father might agree for the right price. (9)

Therefore, Jahid was saving money to purchase a wife as an adult. Though Fawad understood his goal, he still blamed Jahid for not turning over more money to his family to help meet living expenses. How horrifying to realize as a child that the money you collect is vital to your family's survival. Their is no true childhood for these young ones; adult responsibility is thrust upon them very early. And being poor and ugly? Unfortunately, that combination is a huge challenge in any culture/society. 

Fawad describes how vendors would setup tents to sell goods to tourists at a higher price than could be found in the local bazaar.

...if they walked twenty minutes into the heaving mess of Kabul's river bazaar, 

they would find all these items for half the price, but the foreigners were either 

too scared or too lazy to make the journey--and too rich to care about the extra dollars 

that would feed most of our families for a week...as Jahid noted, 

their laziness was good for business. (10)

It is not long before Fawad's mom lands a job as a housekeeper and cook for a group of foreigners living in a house in a 'better,' more protected part of the city, behind barbed wire fencing with armed guards. 

In this house are three foreigners: Georgie, James, and May. Each of them is very different from the other and none of them is Muslim. This is a culture shock to Fawad and his mother, who have never lived with non-believers. Needless to say, Fawad is exposed to way more than he would otherwise have experienced if not living in this particular house. He spends his nights spying on them by creeping throughout the house. One night James allows him to drink beer and he gets drunk, vomiting all over himself, leaving him with a vicious hangover the next day. Consuming alcohol is an Islamic sin, so his mother makes Fawad take a job in Pir "the Madman" Hederi's shop. Per is blind and very old, though wise in his own ways as he talks to Fawad and eventually Jamilla, whom he also hires at Fawad's request. 

Despite Pir's crazy old-man ways,...there was always something a little real to his words. (195)

Fawad falls in love with Georgie at first sight and is quite annoyed at the way Khalid treats her, not calling for days and weeks, then just showing up unexpectedly and unannounced. 

His voice was deep and low, and it suited his face, which was strong and 

framed by thick black hair, a trim black beard, and heavy eyebrows. 

He looked like an Afghan film star, and I hated him for it. (44)

Ah, yes, definitely a bit of jealousy there. Fawad has a love/hate relationship with Haji Khalid Khan throughout most of the book, until he learns that he is NOT a drug runner and completely innocent of the most vile gossip circulating about him. And...that he truly does love Georgie and finally 'does right by her.' 

The Taliban cede control of Afghanistan and the new conquerors are welcomed by the citizens who share their food and wares with the soldiers. However, as Per tells the children, the Taliban were also similarly welcomed "like saviors."

Your mother was right: when they first arrived everybody more or less loved them. 

The country was being bombed to hell by warlords who worked only to fill their own pockets,   

and the people were scared and tired of being scared. 

Suddenly this group of fighters emerged from Kandahar promising order, preaching Islam, 

and hanging child rapists. Who wouldn't welcome them? (47)

The Taliban proved to be "bastards" whose leaders were even illiterate, but they learned to rule through fear, and therefore succeeded in controlling the country. 

God, Afghanistan, and the Taliban were complicated subjects when put together, 

and difficult to make sense of, especially when you were only a boy, because the bottom line 

was this: a good Muslim should never question the ways of the Almighty. 

A good Muslim would trust in God to provide, no matter what, and even if He didn't provide, 

a good Muslim would trust that the hunger, death, fighting, and disease that came to visit 

his door were all part of God's plan. And given that knowledge, the Taliban planning minister 

must have been right and his regime must also have been part of God's plan for Afghanistan. 

And that's quite an argument when you're taking over a country. (49)

And, in my humble opinion, that is one of the dangers of "organized religion": believing that you have absolutely no control or impact upon your own life...that some deity "will provide." Dangerous ground...rife for manipulation.

When a leader tells illiterate people what their 'holy book' says, how can they argue? They cannot since they can neither read nor write. 

...that's why the best weapon the Afghan people have against the Taliban or any other terrible power that may choose to put itself in Afghanistan is education. (50)

Exactly! Otherwise you are sheep willing to be led to the slaughter! As Ismerai, Khalid's uncle says,

Education is the key to Afghanistan's successful future...because it fights ignorance and intolerance and brings the blessing of opportunity. 

When a man has knowledge he has power--the power to make informed decisions; 

the power to distinguish truth from lies, 

and the power to shape his own destiny in accordance with God's will. (50)

I admit to wondering what just happened here in the US! Our country has just "elected" (well, per the electoral college system, anyway) a man who is quite ignorant and simply power-hungry...but I digress. :(

Jahid states it fairly succinctly as he and Fawad consider whether Khalid is into drugs:

Jahid shrugged. Show me a rich man in Afghanistan who isn't mixed up in drugs.

It doesn't make him a bad man, does it? This 'stoop growing poppy' shit is the West's problem,

not ours. It's all their people who are injecting the stuff and contracting AIDS off each other. We're just trying to get by. (68)

I do believe that until Afghans are provided with a decent alternative to growing poppies this agricultural crop will continue to be grown and processed. Although ongoing efforts have and are being made to this end, I'm sure there is much more progress needed. Isn't there always? And what of the 'end users'? He is correct. If 'the West' didn't purchase and use it, there would be little to no market for poppies as a cash crop. I agree with his analysis.

Fawad reflects upon his first Christmas spent with the foreigners...

As I lay in my room, I looked back on the day with all of its color and surprises--

a day when the rich sat with the poor, the Godless with the believers, 

the foreigners with Afghans, the men with women, and the children with adults. 

It was how a perfect world might be if people didn't keep strangling one another 

in rules and laws and fear. Were we really so different from one another? (83-84)

Fawad is wise beyond his years. No, we are not really so different, but we allow ourselves to be convinced that we are...and why do we keep allowing that to occur? I truly believe we have enough people to make a significant difference among humanity that believe we are very much more similar than dissimilar, but we allow political leaders to divide us. The recent US presidential campaign is, sadly, a demonstration of a significant minority even in the United States who are easily manipulated into believing they want to remain isolated as a homogenous group with little to no diversity.

Immediately following this one beautiful day, Fawad's mother becomes ill with cholera. Although this disease acts very quickly and the fatality rate is overwhelmingly high, May and Georgie are able to treat her systems and keep her hydrated so that she is able to survive and fully recover. It is at this time that Fawad learns of May's preference for women and her plans to adopt a baby if she wishes to have a family in the future. He learns it is possible in the US for same-sex couples to marry and make a life together just as any heterosexual couple. This conversation shocks Fawad who decides

I always knew the West was filled with crazy ideas, like scientists 

believing we all come from monkeys, but this was just incredible. 

I decided...I'd write to President Karzai to warn him. 

There could be such a thing as too much democracy, 

and he should be made aware of that fact. (92)

Oh, I had to laugh at this realization! I could easily understand how shocking such revelations might be to a boy of about 10 years of age who had led a very sheltered life, living only among those who believed and behaved as he was being raised to do. 😮

Fawad must remain in the house while his mother convalesces at a neighbor's house until she has regained her strength and can return. During this time, Fawad defends May's honor, realizes that one of the guards at the house loves his mother, and forms closer relationships with all three of the foreigners, particularly with Georgie. And then...tragedy really does strike, in the form of a bomb set off in the market place and shots being fired at Haji Khan. Fawad learns about the death of one friend and the near death of another friend, and the power of love. Fawad comes to the realization that

I could see that away from the politicians and their arguments, 

away from the suicide bombers and their murders, 

and away from the soldiers and their guns, people were good. 

Afghan people were good... I knew I had to try to hold on to at least that truth. (208)

Truer words were never spoken or written. 

Though not just Afghan people, ALL people the world over...are good.

We must not allow anyone to override this one truth. 

We all fight the same battles to survive and thrive.

Each of us must overcome challenges to do so.

We are definitely much more similar than dissimilar.

We are one, in the end.

I am so very glad to have revisited this wonderful book as part of 

Bex's Re-Readathon #4 this past summer!

I can hardly wait for my interview with Andrea Busfield!

I will also re-read her second book, 

Aphrodite's War.

And I am so anxious to read 

her newest release, 

The Silence of Stone.

What is one of your favorite books

set in Afghanistan?

Happy reading

--Lynn

Pack mentality? Or simply humanity?

Fifteen Dogs by André Alexis

I was not as enamored with this book as others were.

And, interestingly, I thought I might not be...

Overall, it was simply a bit too brutal for me.

Though as a friend of mine pointed out--

in her opinion it was "human nature." 

Perhaps I'm just too optimistic about "human nature"...

It has garnered the 2015 Scotiabank Giller Prize and 

the 2015 Rogers Writers' Trust Fiction Prize.

Obviously, others liked it much better than I did...
Perhaps I just didn't appreciate what I perceived as a demonstration of the 'basest' of humanity's characteristics and behaviors. 
I much prefer consideration of humanity  
beyond these basest of characteristics/behaviors. 
This distinction applies to the recent U.S. presidential election, too. I much prefer those who think beyond immediate power and control 
to consider guiding philosophies and the long-term consequences and effects 
such policies might have upon others.

I believe I am one of the few people who was never truly enthralled by a system of "gods," be they Greek or Roman or...?? Basing this book upon a bet between two of these gods was a bit off-putting...I despise believing that as humans we have no input or control over our world. I much prefer to believe we are all held accountable for our behaviors and actions as they all contribute to and compose the "Universal flow" of energy, in either a negative or positive way. 

The gods are compelled by rhythm--as is the universe, as are all the creatures in it. (96)

Pretty simple, but it works for me! :) 

So Hermes and Apollo were sitting in a bar drinking:

...it wasn't the alcohol that intoxicated them. It was the worship their presence elicited. (13)

Ah, yes, the worship can be intoxicating to those who are most egocentric among us. (Admittedly, this makes me think of the fact that DT wishes to continue holding "rallies" if he becomes POTUS. Yes, the adulation can become addictive, can it not? Particularly to those who are the most self-absorbed among us.) 

Human intelligence is not a gift. It's an occasionally useful plague. (15)

I leave Apollo's above comment to your interpretation... This bet was based upon even one of these 15 dogs being "happy" at the time of its death...

These dogs...already possessed a common language. It was language stripped to its essence, a language in which what mattered was social standing and physical need. (17)

However, upon being imbued with 'human intelligence' these dogs' world changed drastically...or did it in the end? So many items in their world which had not had any specific meaning, all of a sudden, meant so much. They were able to discern color and describe feelings, and interact on a much more complex level, but what did this 'intelligence' gain for them? One of these first realizations described a phenomenon I have often wondered about: Taking babies from a mother dog. 

[Rosie] then wondered what had happened to the last litter she'd whelped. 

It suddenly seemed grossly unfair that one should go through the trouble 

of having pups only to lose track of them. (15)

This reminded me of a Gary Larson cartoon from many years ago: 

Do we humans ever consider such actions from the animal mother's viewpoint? I think not...

After all, we humans are so much "smarter" than "dumb animals," right?!? :(

Well...we most certainly get the prize for the most arrogant! 

This book demonstrated that most all humans were unable to notice and understand, or chose to ignore, the behaviors of their "pets" once said pet could relate to the humans at their own intelligence level, since virtually all of them were unable to speak English to make themselves easily understood. This group of 12 learned to travel in groups of only 2 or 3 to keep humans from noticing them much. 

It wasn't that humans were inevitably dangerous, but they were unpredictable. (26)

Sounds a bit familiar, doesn't it? ;) 

I admit I loved Prince, the poet, 

...the only one who entirely embraced the change in consciousness. 

It was as if he'd discovered a new way of seeing, 

an angle that made all that he had known strange and wonderful. (27)

I believe it is those among us who can keep this sense of 'discovery' alive in themselves who become our most creative artists, whatever the medium. 

Two of the female dogs were preparing to sleep after a fight had erupted between two of the male dogs in the pack:

--The males fight for any reason.

--It has nothing to do with us... (30)

Oh, really? The older I get the more I believe any negativity makes an impact...and not a good one! As one faction plans to "lose" some of the group, they discuss how their own smaller group will function:

There will be two [rules]... No language but proper dog language, and no ways but dog ways.

We will live like we were meant to...

We will have no masters. Dogs without masters are the only true dogs. (33)

There is a part of me that wonders if our 'domesticated' animals might not feel as if they would be better off 'in the wild.' It was Lawrence Anthony (author of The Elephant Whisperer) who said, "The only good cage is an empty cage." While I have loved all the "pets" I've ever had, and many were never "in the house," I just wonder how they feel at times, or perhaps with each generation they are less and less "wild"? Yes, this is how my thought processes...well...process! I trust our feline companions are "happy" living with us, as well as those who live outside the house. But I can only assume this is true. 

There are those who lead and also murder in order to cull the 'pack' down to those who only wish to live life in the "old way." This seemed all too surreal to me, as a reflection of humanity's basest of behaviors, only allow those who agree with you and also reject the ability to grow beyond their current state of consciousness to live--kill the others. I always think of Hitler as a penultimate example, yet this continues in so many places in today's world, and we have certainly heard similar exclusionary rhetoric during the most recent U.S. presidential campaign. I cannot help but be scared by people who espouse such narrow-mindedness, prejudice, and ultimately, egocentricity. It does require an openness to learn and grow in order to not only accept but appreciate the diversity in our world, particularly among the members our own species. It was these murderous scenes that introduced a level of violence that makes me uncomfortable--just too grisly for me! 

It was Majnoun's relationship with Nira that proved the most fascinating to me. It is through their interactions that investigation of the underlying philosophies and foundations of 'government,' 'religion,' and 'love' are stated and discussed. 

The more Nira spoke of these things, the more difficult it was for Majnoun to believe that any group of masters--especially human ones--could act in concert, whatever the purpose or end. 

So that both 'government' and 'religion' began to seem like very bad ideas. (49)

Oh boy...again I was reminded of this presidential election cycle... The concept of 'love' was totally beyond Majnoun, particularly when Nira mentioned the feeling he had toward his mother. Again, as noted above, the familial relationship for 'domesticated' animals is virtually meaningless as family members are typically separated from each other very soon after birth. 

Majnoun does reconnect with Benjy, one member of the original group that attacked him. Benjy related another viscious attack upon one of their own, though the other dog had died, as Majnoun had not, since he was rescued by Nira and Miguel and nursed back to health from the brink of death. Benjy is quite the self-serving liar, and although he 

...was as solemn as could be, as if relating an injustice...The truth was, though, 

that he had felt admiration for the conspirators. Some part of him admired the four dogs still. 

They had been swift and clear, and one had to admit that clarity, however terrifying it might be, 

was at least admirable. It was perhaps even beautiful. He could only aspire to it. 

It was an ideal that, realistically speaking, a dog of his size and stature could never attain,

clarity being an expression of power. (61)

This reminded me of the fact that power has historically been granted to the stronger and more aggressive amongst us. And then to note that "clarity" can also be used to gain and maintain power and control. Again, I was reminded of Hitler and his 'power of clarity,' which honestly leads me directly to DT and his seemingly 'powerful rhetoric' during this last US presidential election. Though Hitler did at least have valid economic plans and did revive Germany's economy which at it's lowest point suffered from an inflation rate of 10²³!! Yes, you read that correctly! Ten to the 23rd zeroeth power!! Unbelievable. Those people had nothing and no hope of anything until a leader came along who took control...they just had no idea how much control and manipulation he would exert. And this is my fear of DT who espouses meaningless fear-mongering rhetoric in hopes of...what? It is his unpredictability that scares me most. As cited above. Blend with that his obvious lack of respect for anyone but himself and his 'hate speech' and I cannot help but be scared...and I'm "white"! Benjy believes that the leader, Atticus's, unpredictability is "a danger to them all."

It remained to be seen, however, what good would come from Atticus's reign. (62)

And that is exactly how I feel about DT. I cannot begin to imagine any "good" to be had from his "reign" over the US, particularly given how autocratic and despotic his rhetoric has been...

Zeus, the father to both Hermes and Apollo is appalled when he discovers this bet between his sons and in their discussion, Hermes laughs as Apollo questions their father:

You're not suggesting humans are brutes, are you?

The only thing certain about humans is their brutishness...You two are worse than humans. (92)

Although my initial reaction is to take offense, these past few weeks have shown that perhaps Zeus is correct... :( 

A sense of conscience, guilt, and shame does change the old hierarchy of the pack, or at least causes "doubt" amongst at least some of its members. Even Atticus, arguably the most brutal and dictatorial, and leader, of the pack suffers from these emotions somewhat. Even following the old social structures still can get out of control on occasion with no forethought of the future long-term consequences. 

The most deceitful and scheming of all the dogs, Benjy, eventually comes to his own gruesome and long drawn out death.

Benjy's greatest wish was for a place where the echelon 

was clear to all, where the powerful cared for the weak 

and the weak gave their respect without being coerced.

He longed for balance, order, right and pleasure. 

It was this place that Benjy glimpsed as he died, and the glimpse brought him solace. 

Were it meaningful to speak of death as a state of being, 

one could say that Benjy died into hope itself. (117)

This led to quite a discussion between Hermes and Apollo regarding Benjy's "happiness" at the time of his death. As Apollo said, "Hope has nothing to do with happiness..."

Hope was a dimension of the mortal, nothing more. (118)

Although, as Hermes considered further,

The problem was death itself. No immortal could think of death without yearning for it. 

That yearning was, no doubt, what had led Hermes to imagine a happy death without being sufficiently clear as to the nature of the happiness.

-- I think, he said to his brother, that we should broaden the definition of happiness. 

It would be generous of you to include hope or ...

Apollo cut him off.

-- Are we suddenly human that we need to argue about words?

Hiding his thoughts, Hermes said 

-- No

but for the first time in all this business he experienced 

something surprisingly like resentment. (118)

Aha! So the gods are forced to begin thinking a bit more philosophically as well...

...it surprised Majnoun to discover that works of art--Tokyo Story, Mansfield Park,

Mahler's Fourth Symphony, and so on--were not understandable in the way people were. 

These works were, it seemed, created to evade understanding while inviting it. (131)

I can't imagine a better definition of "art." And it was the poetic dog, Prince, who did manage to die happily...imagining himself reunited with Kim, his original master...the boy of his youth.

Awww...

Having had several different dogs in my "family" as a child, 

I found this ending to be especially poignant...

hoping that I had made my own four-legged companions as happy as Kim had made Prince.

While this was not one of my favorite reads, it was thought-provoking.

And yet, one of my close friends who does not enjoy symbolism, etc., 

liked reading this book more than I did...

And that is what I love about reading--so many interpretations unique to each individual!

Have you read any thought-provoking books lately?

Happy Reading

--Lynn

Welcome back! To me!! :)

Firstly, allow me to apologize for being away for so very very long! :(

My last blog post was October 2nd!! 

It has been a whole month! Plus...

Geeminy!! 

The good news is...I AM BACK!! :)

And the even BETTER NEWS is 
that I have been released from "work hell" 

and have a different job, as of October 24th. 

What. A. Relief! Really! A. Huge. RELIEF!!

And, what's really interesting is that 
this job is actually my "old" job!! 

Hah! This has been a very interesting journey! 

I am back working with the best group of people 

I have ever had the pleasure 
of working with in this lifetime! 

And...I only work 40 hours per week! Whoo! Whoo!

No more overwhelming workload 
and responsibility requiring me 
to work 60-hour weeks!

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,                ‘I will try again tomorrow.’

Maryanne Radanbacher – Author

The above quote described how I would feel at the end of each workday 
in my previous position...
determined to force myself to return again...for another day...of work hell. :)

I am slowly but surely returning to a 'normal' lifestyle with personal time to fill! 

I get to have dates again! 
Not only with my husband, but also with friends!

I get to do what I love to do all through the workday: help people!

I am the front desk person for the department...
and that is what I love to do!

I really do think that any deep crisis 
is an opportunity to make 
your life extraordinary in some way.
Martha Beck - Author

That job was a 'crisis' for me!
I have never before been so appreciative 
of my job and coworkers as I am now!
And that is how my life is now extraordinary!
My appreciation is so much more intense 
than it was before!


Speaking of crisis...
I had decided I wouldn't mention yesterday's election,
but...how can we not be petrified of the next four years.
I certainly am...and that is why I intend to laugh as much as possible
and remain just as positive as possible.
Thank goodness we don't have TV in our house. 
At least I don't have to be reminded... 

Though I admit I do agree with DT on ONE thing...
THIS ELECTION WAS RIGGED!!
Actually, why the hell do we still have an electoral college?
I fail to see it's value. 
The POTUS should be selected in the same way as any other elected official--
whoever gets the most votes. 
And I would feel the same if HC and DT's roles were reversed.
We need to change that!


Meantime, I want a "do over"
of Tuesday, November 8th!




I hope to post at least two reviews yet this week!

Anxious to get back in the swing of blogging and reading!

Any changes in your life lately?

Happy reading

--Lynn