Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Sunday, December 1, 2019

Literary Wives #42

The Home-Maker
by Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Actually, one of my favorite reads for this year!
This is one of my classic literary favorites! 
I had never read any of this writer's works before, but I will definitely read more!
I love the cover image depicted here. This is a Persephone reprint I ordered months ago. 
If you are not familiar with this UK company, please follow the link to learn more.
I love their books: the paper used, the cover formatting, etc. 
I find their pricing reasonable considering the quality of materials and their purpose--
Per The Guardian: "A unique publishing house that champions forgotten female authors."
I'm not sure exactly how "forgotten" Fisher may have been since there is the 
Dorothy Canfield Fisher Book Award selected by 4th - 8th graders each year.
Though I admit I was unfamiliar with her.

Welcome to the 42nd "wifely" book review for the Literary Wives online discussion group!

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Naomi of Consumed by Ink

This book was released in 1924, but the issues depicted are still relevant in today's society. 
Which is sad...just plain sad. 
Although overall I believe U.S. society is becoming much more accepting of 
non-traditional roles, especially within families, the stigma still exists very strongly.
Whether we are discussing two same-sex partners or a heterosexual couple who play 'reverse roles' within the family, or single parents, anything other than a "traditional" arrangement (male father, female mother), there are still way too many people in this country who view such family units as "unnatural," even "immoral." 
Each person and each partnership is unique. My recommendation? Live and let live. 
It makes for a much happier, more contented life.
But, back to this book!

According to Karen Knox in the preface, 
Dorothy Canfield Fisher published eleven novels between 1907 and 1939: 
all of them illustrate her conviction that it is inner, personal change that makes the most difference in the lives of human beings rather than changes in external circumstances. (viii)
And it is exactly this that I most appreciated about this book! Especially with regard to Stephen, the youngest and most ill-behaved of the three Knapp children. Though we also get 'inside the heads' of the other two older children, Henry and Helen, it is Stephen of whom we learn the most. 

In Part One we learn of the wife, Evangeline's/Eva's, thoughts and behaviors during daily life. It is not good! I could connect directly with Eva in several ways... As the one person in the family to be relied upon...seemingly for everything! It was that way for me when raising children. Though at least Lester worked! Not so with the father of my children... She suffered from eczema, just as I did from ages 6-9. For me, it was simply a result of my mother's own anxious behaviors and actions toward me inducing these symptoms. It was quite unpleasant. I realized from the beginning Eva was inadvertently/unconsciously doing this to herself. And finally how I, like her, did everything 'from scratch' to save money and make a healthier home environment for the family. Though obviously it wasn't healthier for her. Unfortunately, Eva shared many personality characteristics with my own mother: perfectionism, anxiety over every little detail...of everything, and constant worry of what others thought...of both herself and me. Though my mother also excelled in criticizing every-body for every-thing, making for a very negative environment--I didn't get the impression Eva did that as she was too busy criticizing each and every little move her children and husband did or did not make! 

Lester's personality is also depicted in Part One. We learn he is suffering from constant indigestion, especially intense immediately after eating. I recognized this as a result Eva's constant 'vigilance'/criticism, although she made it a point to "never criticize their father before the children." Her silences made her disapproval quite clear to everyone, especially to Lester. They weren't even allowed to eat supper in peace but Eva was salting Helen's potatoes right on her plate until they suited Eva, and Stephen was told to take smaller mouthfuls, until eventually Eva states
I know I keep at the children all the time! But how can I help it? 
They've got to learn, haven't they? It certainly is no pleasure to me to do it!
Somebody's got to bring them up! (22)
After supper one night she congratulates herself on never making "scenes" and never having "lost her self-control" until a "terrifying but really unavoidable breakdown" one night. Eva complains to herself that there were
...moments in a mother's life about which nobody ever warned you,...moments of arid clear sight when you saw helplessly that your children would never measure up to your standard, 
never would be really close to you, because they were not your kind of human beings,...but 
merely other human beings for whom you were responsible. How solitary it made you feel! (36)

Henry suffers from nausea and vomiting, which bouts appear to be a direct result of Eva's anger regarding anything that messes up her perfectly clean house! We learn that Helen is rather puny, often suffering from a cold. Eva actually corrects Helen's wringing out of the wash rags by redoing it and rehanging them in a 'perfect' fashion to dry. She constantly corrects and reminds the children how to do every single little thing in their life! How to walk. How to take off their shoes. How to place their shoes on the floor. They can't get more than a few feet into the house without being told how to do 3-4 different things! It's a wonder these people are still functioning at all. Though we can see they are about at a breaking point. Especially poor little Stephen who is still a preschooler and under his mother's thumb each and every minute of each and every day. Poor little guy...

As the book opens we see Eva scrubbing away all afternoon on the grease spots Henry has left on the kitchen floor by tipping the meat tray as he brought it into the kitchen from the dining room after supper the evening before. She is angry as hell about this! Then she notices Stephen is missing. She begins to hunt for him, getting angrier all the time, as the bucket of cleaning water in the kitchen cools while she hunts in every imaginable spot for her youngest child, who, we learn, is purposefully hiding from her! It's due to his Teddy-bear, which he has just discovered poorly hidden in a drawer in his/his parents' bedroom. (Due to limited space in their house, Stephen sleeps on a cot in Eva and Lester's bedroom.) Eva had confiscated it during the night until she had the opportunity to wash it. But Stephen had seen the results of a 'washed' Teddy-bear and it wasn't good... To Stephen 
...Teddy meant quiet and rest and safety...and Stephen needed all he could get of those elements 
in his stormy little life, made up, so much of it, 
of fierce struggles against forces stronger than he. (11)

He would hold Teddy in his arms as long as he could, and hide, and let Mother call to him all she wanted to, while he braced himself to endure with courage the tortures that would inevitably follow...the scolding which mother called 'talking to him', the beating invisible waves of fury flaming at him from all over Mother, which made Stephen suffer more than 
the physical blows which always ended things, for by the time they arrived 
he was usually so rigid with hysteria himself that he did not feel them much.
Under the stairs...she would not think of that for a long time. 
He crept in over the immaculately clean floor, drew the curtains back of him, sat upright, 
cross-legged, holding Teddy to his breast with all his might, dry-eyed, scowling, 
a magnificent sulphurous conflagration of Promethean flames blazing in his little heart. (14-15)
This passage! Those descriptors! I read that passage several times just because...it was so powerful! I could easily picture Stephen...

As Stephen walks about the bedroom "drawing long breaths" he notes that 
The bed, the floor, the bureau, everything looked different to you in the times when 
Mother forgot about you for a minute. It occurred to Stephen that maybe it was a rest to them, 
too, to have Mother forget about them and stop dusting and polishing and pushing them around. They looked sort of peaceful, the way he felt. 
He nodded his head to the bed and looked with sympathy at the bureau. (11)
Eva created so much tension that nobody could be healthy in the environment she created! It struck me yet again that if my mother and I had not lived with my grandmother so that she was my main caregiver, my daily life would have been so much worse! My mother would have been just as bad (or maybe even worse?) than Eva. I had been lucky in that regard. Not so for Stephen! Until...

Lester despairs after having been fired from his job at the local department store and purposefully throws himself off his neighbor's icy roof as he ostensibly hauls water to try to extinguish a fire. His thought was to provide for Eva and the children via the life insurance money they would have as a result of his death. But as he later bemoans, he can't even cause his own death, but rather simply causes his legs to be useless in the aftermath. The medical prognosis is that he may be able to regain use with time, but there are no guarantees. 

Part Two depicts Jerome and Nell Willing, the two new co-owners of the local department store, inherited from Jerome's uncle who owned and managed it for many years. They are both college-educated with experience working in retail institutions and are determined to build this small-town store into a much more economically efficient machine. All for the good of the local/rural folks, of course! [Wink! Wink!] The fact that they would have more money is viewed simply as a bonus to the changes and expansion they have planned. They debate the need for a store manager to free Jerome to complete buying trips. If only they knew someone who would be capable and yet personable with customers... 

And you guessed it! Three weeks after returning the Willings' check for $100 sent to her immediately following Lester's accident, Eva enters the store to ask for a job. Jerome has a practiced interviewing technique and recognizes what he feels is her natural affinity, knowledge, and pertinent skills set to work in retail. After all, her father owned and managed his own store in which she worked as a child/teen, so she also has on-the-job experience. It is many of those same skills that have worked to drive her children and husband to physical ailments as well as create an environment of nearly unbearable  psychological stress for them. It isn't that Eva isn't a devoted "home-maker" or that she doesn't love each member of her family, it is just her emphasis on perfection with no regard for others' feelings or respect in the wake of her unrealistic expectations. 

As you might well have also guessed, Eva excels at the store and is immediately promoted from stock girl to seller. She even takes notes in the evenings of her ideas/plans for work. Eva actually learns to overlook a 'less than perfectly' clean house when she is home. Her earnings allow them to hire a housekeeper who cleans once a week to prevent Eva from spending her leisure time working constantly in the house. (Per doctor's orders.) And then Miss Flynn, the department manager resigns and Eva is promoted and earning even more money than Lester ever made or ever thought he would be capable of making at the same store. Of course, Jerome and Nell plan to groom Eva to become the store manager they had foreseen needing. She fits in beautifully with their own management philosophy.

This book has prompted me to relate plot details to a much greater degree than I usually do, but I feel it is very important to truly understanding the ramifications to each character in the book. Part Three depicts the astounding affect that Lester has on his children as he takes over as a true "home-maker" (not just "housekeeper") by cooking and caring for the children. Due to his physical limitations he is unable to accomplish much cleaning, but the children pitch in as they can. Friends and neighbors help as well. We learn Lester had befriended and helped quite a few people in town who were more than happy to return the favor in his hour of need. Lester provides to the children what Eva was unable to provide: patience, caring, and respect. She was very efficient in the pragmatic tasks of "house-keeping," but quite lacking in creating a nurturing, gentle, and kind environment. It is this section I liked best. Fisher does a very believable job of recreating how I would imagine these children might feel as they are freed to become themselves and develop their own interests and skills while experiencing a supportive relationship with their father. 
And now for the Literary Wives portion 
of the review! 

What does this book say about wives or 
about the experience of being a wife?

One of my first observations is that finally we have 
a book which does not have a philandering male 
as the "husband." I appreciate that! 

I admit that I was disappointed in all these 
characters in Part Four which deals with the 
fact that Eva and Lester both realize he has 
regained control of his legs and 
could walk if he chose to do so. 
However, rather than creating joy, 
this realization creates much more stress
for each of them as they consider the ramifications.
An able-bodied male remaining at home as a "home-maker" while his wife works to provide income to support the family was just not feasible, according to Eva. She refuses to even consider this due to the social stigma of such an arrangement. Lester's refusal is based upon the benefits he now realizes he provides to his children, and the fact that Eva is much happier and more fulfilled by working outside the home than she ever was being a "home-maker." Though I would argue she was a "house-keeper" much more than a "home-maker," as distinguished by the title, which, according to Elaine Showalter's afterword, 
...clearly signaled [Dorothy Canfield Fisher's] subject and her educational mission...
Calling someone a "home-maker" rather than a 'house-keeper' 
implies more importance, authority, and creativity. (269)
Although I had never thought of these two words in this way, I can recognize the underlying logic. It is stated multiple times in the book that being a wife instantly meant you were the home-maker, the patient caregiver, the nurturer. 
That complacent unquestioned generalisation, 'The mother is the natural home-maker' (257)
Proved to not always be true! Just being born 'female' or just being in the designated 'working-at-home' role doesn't automatically mean you have these skills. I knew a woman who was a "stay-at-home" mom but her children literally lived with her parents until they started school and since her parents' home lay outside their home school district, they would stay with their parents Monday-Friday and spend weekends and all vacations at their grandparents' house. So just being at home all the time doesn't mean you are parenting, or necessarily an effective parent. Each of us is different, regardless of our role or gender. 

Likewise, Lester feels himself to be a complete and total failure since 
he had long ago seen that he was incapable of giving to Eva and the children anything that anybody in the world would consider worth having. The only thing he was supposed 
to give them was money, and he couldn't make that. (68)
So we see very distinct roles set by society for a woman as a wife and a man as a husband. One is to be at home caring for the house and children and the other is to earn sufficient income to support them all. However, if it weren't for Lester becoming the "home-maker," no one would have realized the trauma Stephen underwent regarding his Teddy-bear. 
What was terrifying to Lester was the thought that the conception of 
trying to understand Stephen's point of view had been 
as remote from their minds as the existence of the fourth dimension. (145)
I can understand being so busy as a parent that you overlook and/or are oblivious to some aspects of your children's psychological needs. It is sad when that happens. It was this realization that awoke in him a "desire to get well, to live again."

Fisher addresses the issue of consumerism as she describes Jerome Willing's "notion of being a good business-man" was to exploit women by "play[ing] for his own purposes on a weakness of theirs only too tragically exaggerated already, their love for buying things." (That stereotype of a women always shopping/buying things!) He tried to ignore the fact that, in his opinion, Eva was doing the exact same thing. And although there is a strong emphasis on the rights of children to have love, security, and unconditional positive regard/respect, Fisher also points out that with the extra income from Eva's work, they would be able to save for their children's college education and provide more for their children. As Eva states,
She felt an impulsive longing to share her emotion with Lester, to put her arms 
about his neck and let him know that she did not take his loyalty, his gentleness, 
his faithfulness, his fineness, so coldly for granted as she had seemed.
She had been unhappy about their hideous poverty. That was all. It was abominable to be poor! 
It brought out the worst in everyone. When you were distracted with worry about money, 
you simply weren't yourself. (236)
I do believe finances are at the heart of many relationship break-ups. Statistics do prove that out. 

As Lester considers the possibility of both he and Eva working he muses over the possibility of hiring someone to care for the children:
...it was conceivable that by paying a high cash price you might be able to hire a little intelligence, 
enough intelligence to give them good material care. 
But you could never hire intelligence sharpened by love. 
In other words, you could not hire a parent.
And children without parents were orphans. (255)
As Lester contemplates the possibility of him being able-bodied once again, 
...the fanatic feminists were right, after all. Under its greasy camouflage of chivalry, 
society is really based on a contempt for women's work in the home. 
The only women who were paid, either in human respect or money, 
were women who gave up their traditional job of creating harmony out of human relationships 
and did something really useful, bought or sold or created material objects. (260)
It is true. You are paid nothing to be a full-time parent. But there is great satisfaction in knowing that you gave it 1000% when they were young and dependent. My finances as an older adult reflect the fact that I did not work outside my home for 13 years while raising my children, but I wouldn't trade the experiences with and insights into my children gained over those years for anything. 

I can imagine this was quite a groundbreaking work when released in 1924. 
Unfortunately, I fear we still have a long way to go before this changes significantly. 
But I do believe progress has been made and more and more people are learning to 
not only accept and respect, but also appreciate alternative family units to the 
"traditional" male-income-earner-husband and female-"home-maker'-mother model. 



Up next for Literary Wives:

The War of the Wives by Tamar Cohen

Join us March 2, 2020





Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Nourishing our souls is so very important...no matter what our age!

Our Souls at Night by Kent Haruf
Our Souls at Night by Kent HarufI am so sad Kent Haruf will not be 
writing or publishing any more books! 
The only good news is that he published other 
books which I can also read!
I loved this book just as much as I thought I would, perhaps even more!
I can see myself behaving just as Addie did...
if I was in that same situation.
And I'm glad for that! 
Glad that I wouldn't just accept my life of one 
but would be happy to ignore "convention" 
to make myself and someone else happier.
This only makes good sense, in my opinion!
And you don't HAVE to sign a piece of paper and
'legalize' a relationship!
You can, if you wish, but it is not 
a requirement, in my opinion. 

Sometimes a cover 'fits' so well with a book that I just have to comment on it, and I feel that way about this cover. When I first saw it, I thought to myself that it was a bit strange to show only one side of a bed. But now that I've read the book, I get it. Good job, Carol Devine Carson! :)

"...not sex. I'm not looking at it that way...I'm talking about getting through the night. And lying warm in bed, companionably. Lying down in bed together and you staying the night. The nights are the worse. Don't you think?
  Yes, I think so. (5)
...at dark he went out the back door and walked up the back alley carrying a paper sack with his pajamas and toothbrush inside. (7)
And so began Addie and Louis's partnership to comfort each other during the loneliest hours. It worked beautifully! Though they were both understandably hesitant in the very beginning...but why not venture out and break some new ground, so to speak! 

On the first "companionable" night,
I'll come by the front door next time. If there is a next time.
  Don't you think there will be? she said...Don't you have any faith? she said.
  In you, I do. I can have faith in you. I see that already. But I'm not sure I can be equal to you.
  What are you talking about? How do you mean that?
  In courage, he said. Willingness to risk. 
  Yes, but you're here.
  That's right, I am. (9)
Addie elaborates on the fact that she is not going to worry about what others think or run her life according to their rules any longer. I so totally agree with her! I've survived almost 60 years. Just stand back. I'm comin' through and I intend to do as I damn well please, at least as much as possible! :) Personally, I think Addie is brilliant! Just think how much happier elderly people would be with companionship during the loneliest most challenging hours to get through--nighttime. 

Addie's grandson, Jamie, comes to spend the summer with her, since his mother has moved out and his parents are now separated. Jamie's father, Gene, is Addie's son. All this when the child isn't even six years old...such stress and change for him. I despised his father for just dumping his son on his mother to care for the whole summer long, though Gene was none to emotionally healthy himself and his business had decreased drastically, so it is always easy to judge others when you are not in their shoes.(Sorry, Gene!) Addie quickly includes Louis in their everyday life and this proves to be a healing relationship for her grandson. It is so very sweet how they work to not only calm Jamie at night, but entertain him during the day. It strikes me that nighttime can be the most challenging time to get through for many of us--those who are older and alone, as well as those who are young and dealing with change...Jamie would awaken each night, crying, sometimes worse, and the first night Louis stays following Jamie's arrival, he carries him into Addie's bed.
  Louis took the boy's hand and held it and the three of them lay together in the dark. 
  Good old dark, Louis said. All comfortable and good, nothing to worry anybody, nothing to be afraid of. He began to sing very softly. He had a good tenor voice. He sang "Someone's in the Kitchen with Dinah" and "Down in the Valley." The boy relaxed and went to sleep. 
  Addie said, I've never heard you sing before. 
  I used to sing to Holly.
  You've never sung for me. 
  I didn't want to scare you away. Or have you send me away.
  That was nice, she said. Sometimes you're a pretty nice man.
  I suppose we're going to stay like this, divided all night. 
  I'll think good thoughts across to you.
  Don't make them too racy. It might disturb my rest. 
  You never know. (77)
Awwww...this just struck me as so very sincere! I love both Louis and Addie. They are both learning about each other and sharing about their lives and experiences, just as any two people getting to know each other better do! And the way they care for Jamie! 

Addie talks with Louis about how she recognizes that Gene is repeating the same mistakes his own father made with him, in his relationship with his own son, Jaime.
  You can't fix things, can you, Louis said.
  We always want to. But we can't. (144)
It is so true that as parents (and grandparents) we want to "fix" everything for our children/grandchildren, but then they would lose the opportunity to learn and adjust appropriately, and that wouldn't, in the end, "fix" anything! 

As Louis states,
I just want to live simply and pay attention to what's happening each day. And come sleep with you at night.
  Well, that's what we're doing. Who would have thought at this time in our lives that we'd still have something like this. That it turns out we're not finished with changes and excitement. And not all dried up in body and spirit. (147)
Nor should you be! :) No matter what your age!

In the end, I hated Gene for his selfishness and self-righteousness. He took something from Addie that couldn't be replaced, and although I can sympathize with this grief, guilt, and remorse from his own childhood losses, I cannot justify what he does to Addie, his own mother. I sincerely hope none of my three sons would treat me similarly, but you never know...


Addie's comment about life, love, relationships:
Who does ever get what they want? 
It doesn't seem to happen to many of us if any at all. 
It's always two people bumping against each other blindly, 
acting out of old ideas and dreams and mistaken understandings. (130)
I would like to think many of us get more than that from our life, but perhaps not...
I feel as if I have been very lucky in my relationships. 
Have they all been perfect? Of course not...
they involved humans who are, by definition, imperfect! :)
But if you pay attention, there is always something positive to be gained from most any relationship--if you "pay attention to what's happening each day"--live in the NOW!

Oh, if you haven't read this book, please do!
It reads very very quickly. I read it in one evening after work and I'm not a "fast" reader.
I don't believe you need to be "older" to truly enjoy this book,
in fact you may benefit even more if you are younger,
because you should glean a lesson on how NOT to treat your aging parent(s)! :)
I will read more of Haruf's work! (Provided I live long enough...)

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Who is your "family"?

Did You Ever Have a Family by Bill Clegg
The Socratic Salon discussed this one!
Other reviews: 
Catherine of The Gilmore Guide to Books
Lauren of Malcolm Avenue Review

I loved this book! The cover image is so deceptive--so simple...and yet, much like each of us, so very complex as we navigate the layers of our life and being. The who of who we are. I noticed that the jacket and the paper covering the inside of the front and back are made to look worn and even water damaged. And perhaps that is the purpose? To denote that each of us is damaged, as is the book itself. And we all are, just in different ways and to varying degrees. 

This book demonstrates the many layers of existence each of us portrays. Much like our skin. There is the surface layer, mainly known by those who truly do NOT know us at a personal level at all, only basically know 'of' us. Under that is a layer known by those who know us very little, but at least have some direct contact with us in one way or another: as a professional, within our scope of employment, as a volunteer, as a blogger, etc. And then there are those who really know us! These are the people who must endure us day in and day out, those with whom we connect. There are varying levels of connection within and among these groups. Clegg does an excellent job of depicting just those dimensions of 'knowing' and forming/maintaining relationships with one another. He compares and contrasts them to demonstrate that we are all connected to some degree, whether we realize it or not. 

When a tragedy strikes, there are always those who feel they might have been able to avoid it...if only...they had... In this case, there were several people feeling as if they could have prevented what happened, none more so than June and Silas, I feel certain. And the resulting losses were so very great...as they always are for those people 'closest' to the victims. Though, how do we judge our 'closeness' to others? I believe one of the reasons each character seemed so real is that each revealed something about themselves, often something from their past they could or did regret...and that, after all, is something we all share--we all have regrets.                                                             

Merriam-Webster's definition of FAMILY: 
1) a group of people who are related to each other
2) a person's children
3) a group of related people including people who lived in the past
There are so many people I consider to be 'family'--more than just those with whom I share a biological link! One of my friends introduced me to the phrase, "Friends are family you choose!" And the older I get, the more I believe that and realize it is so true in my own life. Don't get me wrong--I love my children, their partners, and their children/my grandchildren. Always have and always will. However, I have much closer interpersonal relationships with others than I have with them. I honestly don't know how much of that is a function of who I am, who they are, or just simply our personalities and attraction to each other. In adulthood, I believe compatibility is key to forming and maintaining relationships that are long-term and truly meaningful and rewarding. 

June had "crossed a line" by "starting up" with Luke, whose 
looks came from the fact that he didn't look like anyone else around here. He was like a wild orchid growing in a hayfield. No one ever knew who his father was, but they sure knew he was black. I hate to say what it suggests about this town that there is virtually no one who could have been the father. (24) 
Definitely not an area where someone who appears to be "racially different" from the mainstream would necessarily feel comfortable. [June] was, she sensed sharply as she reached the far side of the parking lot, an untouchable. Not from scorn or fear, but from the obscenity of loss. It was inconsolable, and the daunting completeness of it--everyone, gone--silenced even those most used to calamity. (11) 
It is often true that others tend to avoid those who are left...the survivors of extreme tragedies. June does run away. Really, I didn't blame her at all. How ironic that she ends up finding the letter and staying where her daughter had been, and there she makes a "friend" of Cissy.                                                                  

Edith, the florist, had cut the daisies for Lolly and Will's wedding herself, to place in the 50 or so jelly jars the couple had collected since they first became engaged. Although she disapproved, since daisies are not truly acceptable wedding flowers, she was going to do it for them. After all, she was getting paid... As she describes the exhausting lives of those living in a 'resort town,' noting they were also
...too busy performing their roles as jolly country folk on the weekends for the pampered and demanding New Yorkers, spending every last drop of civility and patience on these strangers with none left over for their wives and husbands. The weekenders from the city not only take the best houses, views, food and, yes, flowers, our little town has to offer, but they take the best of us, too. (22-23)
I can imagine that to be true. When I was teaching, there were more days than not that I had to have just 15-20 minutes or so of 'veg' time in front of the TV, or outside doing something once I reached home, to regain sufficient emotional energy to deal with my own children! We do tend to 'give' much of ourselves to our work. 
...we no longer live in a town, not a real one anyway. We live in a pricey museum, one that's only open on weekends, and we are its janitors. (25) 
I think Edith spoke for many others in her local area--the population overall felt subservient to the New York upper echelon who invaded their community on weekends and vacations. 
No one ever accused me of being a soft touch, but when something like what happened at June Reid's that morning happens, you feel right away like the smallest, weakest person in the world. That nothing you do could possibly matter. That nothing matters. Which is why, when you stumble upon something you can do, you do it. So that's what I did. (29) 
She used all those daisies in funeral arrangements, or whatever was ordered--she made them work! 

Ah...and Luke. How could you not love Luke? He was hard-working and conscientious, even as a teenager when many of us are irresponsible to a fault! Not Luke! And he had a scholarship and was off to college. Until...well, I won't spoil it, but there are times when we allow "outsiders" to manipulate us to the woe of those we love most. As Rick states,
One thing about Luke is that he never talked shit about other people He could be moody and sometimes lose his temper, but he didn't talk trash. (51) 
He was too big, too handsome, too something for the likes of us. No one around here looked like he did, and I don't just mean because he was black. I caught Sandy looking at him more than a few times, and I thought what the heck, who can blame her? (52) 
...facts never got in anyone's way when it came to Luke, so I guess it should be no surprise that the story of what happened that night would be no different. (58) 
Lydia (Luke's mother), six months after the accident
takes a long, late-day look at the town where she has lived her whole life, where there are no friends, no family, but where her feet are famous to the sidewalks. (46)

The relationships! I have a Goodreads shelf: Relationships-relationships-relationships. Relationships between and among characters is one of the things I love most about books! And this one is extraordinary! George and Lydia. How bittersweet, especially with regard to Luke. I can relate to a lack of connection to your biological father, having never met my own and learning he died some 18 years ago. Rebecca and Kelly. Kelly and Penny. Cissy and Ben. Will and Cissy. June and Cissy. Dale and Mimi. Dale and Will. Perhaps most unlikely, June and Lydia... The resulting interconnectedness of our lives is undeniable. For me, the theme of being kind, respectful, and genuine was uppermost...for you never know just how you or someone you love may be connected with that person or another who is important to him or her. And besides, that should be our overall motivation--to put kindness and goodness into the Universal energy flow. It does matter. 

As Dale describes Lolly and Will:
I think Will sensed that despite her girlish manner, something was broken in her. Mimi says wounds can sing a beguiling song, and for Will--who from boyhood felt compelled to fix and help and take care of nearly everything and anyone in his path--Lolly's song was irresistible. (210)
Of Lolly and Will June believes: 
This is the pivot between youth and age, the thrilling place where everything seems visible, feels possible, where plans are made. On the one side you have childhood and adolescence, which are the murky ascent, and, on the other, you have the decline that is adulthood, old age, the inch-by-inch reckoning of that grand, brief vision with earthbound reality. (163) 

My final take-away: do not delay. Communicate with those you love...today. Now. You may well never have another opportunity in this lifetime. Don't leave your love, respect, or appreciation of others unstated. The next time you communicate with them? That could be the last time. 

Keep writing, Mr. Clegg. I am definitely hooked! If you've read this one, what did you take away from the experience? 

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Flying wasn't really involved!

Kristin Hannah’s Firefly Lane and Fly Away
Do you appreciate and prefer writing that includes detailed vivid characterization and interpersonal relationships among those characters? 
Then I believe you will truly enjoy these two books by Kristin Hannah!
I received a free copy of Fly Away by Kristin Hannah in exchange for an honest review, however, upon researching that book more thoroughly, I discovered it to be a sequel to Firefly Lane and wanted to read that book first. I ordered a copy from Robots & Rogues, my favorite used bookstore in Lafayette, Indiana, and waited a couple of weeks until I had time to devote to these two books. I am glad I read Firefly Lane first, as it gave me the comprehensive background to better understand Fly Away; I don’t believe I would have appreciated Fly Away nearly as much had I read it as a stand-alone novel. 

I was so enthralled with Firefly Lane I literally stayed up until 4:30AM to complete it after having started reading it the night before! (Fortunately, it was the weekend!) I rarely ever stay up beyond 11PM, but this is now one of my favorite books of all time! What a ride this read was! These characters resonated so strongly with me I cannot adequately describe it in words! Though this book is nearly 500 pages long I never noticed as the words just zipped by! Kate and Tully are so real and flawed, yet with that true blend of good/bad, right/wrong that is reality. 



Hannah captures everything in such vivid detail you are literally carried into their world, an “alternate” universe, if you will! You will recognize yourself in these characters’ actions, behaviors, and thoughts on various occasions as you progress through the story. So many aspects are universal to humanity, especially with regard to female relationships; in so many ways, Kate and Tully created the penultimate accepting and supportive friendship! The text of this picture describes Kate's constant and enduring support of Tully...until...the one unforgivable betrayal. Kate was definitely the glue that seemingly held many people, relationships, and family entities together. I was anxious to see how everyone would cope in Fly Away!

The cover for Fly Away depicts the candles suspended from the tree overhanging the patio at Kate and Johnny’s house. Tully suffers one last heartbreaking betrayal, following on the heels of realization that walking away from her successful career has left no opportunity for re-entry in the future. In the wake of her seemingly suicidal vehicular calamity she is left in a coma. With Johnny unable to deal with his own emotional upheaval, let alone aiding his children in their daily lives, Tully’s condition reignites everyone’s passion for their interconnectedness and motivates them to actively care for each other once again. 


 Central to this revival is Cloud’s rehabilitation and ability to cope with life, and therefore, help to save her daughter’s life in a way she never did as a young mother. While a person’s childhood is never “idyllic,” Cloud’s was beyond hurtful, and there is some understanding and sympathy for her plight as an abused and betrayed child herself. It is heartwarming and poignant to see families finally reunited and functioning in a much more respectful and healthy way. I appreciate the fact that Hannah’s ending is somewhat bittersweet—uplifting overall, but not perfectly “happily ever after.” Hannah's treatment of Kate and Tully's relationship throughout Fly Away is unforgettable and memorable. They are together...forever.